Clip of the Day

The incredible Alberta Hunter

GFN - INFORMATION

"Fingernails have a life span of three to six months. That's how long it takes them to grow from base to tip, progressing at the pace of 1.5 inches a year, or 0.000000047 inches a second."

Famous Quotations

“It’s no exaggeration to say that the undecided could go one way or another.” George W. Bush, former US President

April Fool's Day

April 1st

In sixteenth-century France, the start of the New Year was observed on April first. It was celebrated in much the same way as it is today with parties and dancing into the late hours of the night. Then in 1562, Pope Gregory introduced a new calendar for the Christian world, and the New Year fell on January first.
There were some people, however, who hadn't heard or didn't believe the change in the date, so they continued to celebrate New Year's Day on April first. Others played tricks on them and called them "April fools." They sent them on a "fool's errand" or tried to make them believe that something false was true. In France today, April first is called "Poisson d'Avril." French children fool their friends by taping a paper fish to their friends' backs. When the "young fool" discovers this trick, the prankster yells "Poisson d’Avril!" (April Fish!)

Today Americans play small tricks on friends and strangers alike on the first of April. One common trick on April Fool's Day, or All Fool's Day, is pointing down to a friend's shoe and saying, "Your shoelace is untied." Teachers in the nineteenth century used to say to pupils, "Look! A flock of geese!" and point up. School children might tell a classmate that school has been canceled. Whatever the trick, if the innocent victim falls for the joke the prankster yells, "April Fool!”

The "fools' errands" we play on people are practical jokes. Putting salt in the sugar bowl for the next person is not a nice trick to play on a stranger. College students set their clocks an hour behind, so their roommates show up to the wrong class - or not at all. Some practical jokes are kept up the whole day before the victim realizes what day it is.

Most April Fool jokes are in good fun and not meant to harm anyone. The most clever April Fool joke is the one where everyone laughs, especially the person upon whom the joke is played.

Famous last words

"Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him". John Barrymore. 1882-1942. Acclaimed American actor.

LAUGHTER’S THE BEST MEDICINE

Question asked in exam

How to Kill an Ant?

Student:- Mix a Chilli Powder with Sugar and keep it outside the ant’s hole. After eating the sugar coated chilli power, ant will go in search of Water. When ant go for water, push ant into it…! After getting wet, ant will go near fire to dry itself.. When it reaches near fire, throw a bomb into the fire and admit the wounded ant into ICU. When ant is in ICU, remove the Oxygen mask from its mouth and kill the ant.

Secret To Happy Married Life

- Husband: “When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger”

- Wife: “I’ll clean the toliet bowl.”

- Husband:”How does that help?”

- Wife:”I use your tooth brush.”

True Love

A man is sitting at home on the veranda having drinks with his wife and he says,

- “I love you.”

She asks,

- “Is that you or the beer talking?”

He replies,

- “It’s me….. talking to the beer.”

TIPS OF THE DAY

If you believe that i.e. and e.g. mean the same thing, you're wrong!



E.g. (from latin - exemplia gratia) means "for example," and i.e. means roughly "in other words." You use “e.g.” to provide a list of incomplete examples, and you use “i.e.” to provide a complete clarifying list or statement.

That's it!

Bizarre

Three decades without sleeping

Sixty-four-year-old Thai Ngoc, known as Hai Ngoc, said he could not sleep at night after getting a fever in 1973, and has counted infinite numbers of sheep during more than 11,700 consecutive sleepless nights. "I don't know whether the insomnia has impacted my health or not. But I'm still healthy and can farm normally like others," Ngoc said. Proving his health, the elderly resident of Que Trung commune, Que Son district said he can carry two 50kg bags of fertilizer down 4km of road to return home every day.

Word of the Day

Trigger

Function: verb (with object)

Inflected forms:
triggers, triggered, triggering

Meanings:
1 a : to cause (something, such as an alarm) to start functioning
eg: Smoke triggered the fire alarm.

1 b : to cause (a bomb) to explode
eg: The timer was set to trigger the bomb in exactly one hour.

2 : to cause (something) to start or happen
eg: His remarks triggered a public outcry.
Certain foods seem to trigger his headaches.
The power outage was triggered by the heavy rains.

Clip of the Day

Weekend in Rio

The U.S. president, Barack Obama said this Sunday (20) in his speech to the Brazilian people, that the U.S. and Brazil should not be partners "senior" and "junior" but "equal partners".

The statement was made at the Teatro Municipal of Rio de Janeiro.

Obama began speaking in an informal atmosphere, venturing to say "Obrigado (thank you), Hi, Rio de Janeiro, Hello, Cidade Maravilhosa (Marvelous city)! and Boa tarde todo povo brasileiro (Good afternoon, all the Brazilian people)!" in Portuguese, with a tiny accent. A real magic spell. HC

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. Albert Einstein, German physicist.

LAUGHTER’S THE BEST MEDICINE

A Strange Man
A man walked into a psychiatrist’s office with a fried egg on the top of his head and a strip of bacon over each ear. The psychiatrist decided to proceed with a normal greeting. There was no point getting the fellow upset.

- “What can I do for you?” the psychiatrist asked. The man smiled pleasantly.

- “Doc”, he answered, “I’m worried about my brother”.

Traffic Camera
A man was driving through town, when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding.

Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.

Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed.

He tried a fourth time with the same result.

He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail’s pace.

Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt.

Lost in Translation
The Smith family was very proud that their ancestors had come over on the Mayflower, so they hired best-selling author Frank McCourt to look up and write a book about their family history.

Horror of horrors! They discovered that great uncle Fess had died in the electric chair for committing a murder. They were devastated.

They didn’t want that in the book, but they didn’t want to leave him out either.

McCourt said, “Leave it to me.”

When the book came out, the section about Uncle Fess read like this:

- “He was a man who occupied a great seat. He was attached to his position very firmly. His death came as a great shock.”

Girls Are So Demanding
A 10-year-old girl was walking down the street when a big man on a big-old motorcycle pulls up beside her and says...

- “Hey little girl, do you want to go for a ride?”

- “NO!” says the little girl as she keeps on walking.

The motorcyclist pulls up beside her again and says,

- “Hey kid, I will give you $10 if you hop on the back.”

- “NO!” said the little girl and proceeded down the street a little quicker.

The motorcyclist pulls up to the little girl again and says...

- “Okay kid, I will give you $20 and a BIG bag of candy if you hop on the back of my bike for a ride.”

At this point the little girl turns to him and screams angrily,

- “Look Dad, YOU bought a Honda instead of a Harley, so, YOU ride it!”

Omission

The Samba School, União da Ilha, during this year's carnaval in Rio de Janeiro, when honoring Charles Darwin, did not mention his words (The Voyage of the Beagle) transcribed below:

"I must here commemorate what happened for the first time during our nearly five years' wandering, namely, having met with a want of politeness. I was refused in a sullen manner at two different houses, and obtained with difficulty from a third, permission to pass through their gardens to an uncultivated hill, for the purpose of viewing the country. I feel glad that this happened in the land of the Brazilians, for I bear them no good will. On the 19th of August we finally left the shores of Brazil. I thank God, I shall never again visit a slave-country."

This present article was supplied by Osnaldo Araujo, a good old friend of mine.

Bizarre

Brosnan: Bedding Halle Was a Letdown

World Entertainment News Network

Irish actor PIERCE BROSNAN had the opportunity to live every man's fantasy by bedding HALLE BERRY - but he hated it.

Brosnan, who is set to wrap filming on the latest JAMES BOND flick DIE ANOTHER DAY, admits that the opportunity to film a love scene with the stunning OSCAR winner wasn't as great as most men would envision it to be.

The screen star, who is happily married to beautiful brunette KEELY SHAYE SMITH, says that the idea of stripping down with Halle was highly appealing - until it was put to practice.

He says, "They're in both of your knickers, you're trying not to show breasts and nipples and stuff - all the loveliness of life. It's mad, absolutely mad!

"These love scenes always sound so seductive and lovely and here you are with this beautiful woman, rolling around in the sack, so to speak, and then you have this director under sheets with you, trying to get the shot. If that's not enough, there's also cameras on either side of you."

Famous last words

John Adams

"Oh, yes; today is the glorious Fourth of July. It is a great day. It is a good day. God bless it. God bless you all. [He then lapsed into unconsciousness. He awakened later, and mumbled] Thomas Jefferson…"

John Adams who died on July 4, 1826. He is often quoted as having said "Thomas Jefferson still survives." with some depictions indicating he might have not expressed the entire statement before dying, i.e.: "Thomas Jefferson… still survi—", but some research indicates that only the words "Thomas Jefferson" were clearly intelligible among his last. Adams did not know that Jefferson, his great political rival—and later friend and correspondent—had died a few hours earlier that same 4th of July, 1826, exactly fifty years after the signing of the Declaration of Independence.

Odd News

McDonald’s toilet breaks, woman sues

A woman filed a negligence suit Tuesday claiming she was injured when a toilet broke in a bathroom stall of a South Side McDonald’s restaurant.

Cherry Hardie claims that on March 12, 2010, she was seated on a toilet in a McDonald’s restaurant, 7601 S. Vincennes Ave., according to a lawsuit filed in Cook County Court.

The suit claims that seat fell off the toilet while she was seated and she reached for the bathroom wall to try to catch herself while she was falling. She suffered a severe injury to her left arm and shoulder, which came into contact with the bathroom wall.

The suit claims that Phideb Management Services, the owner of the McDonald’s restaurant, carelessly and negligently failed to manage and inspect the restrooms to determine dangerous conditions.

Phideb also failed to place railings or barricades around the perimeter of the bathroom stall with the broken toilet seat because Phideb should have known that the toilet seat would cause injury, according to the suit.

Hardie claims that she was injured, suffered a severe shock to her nervous system and became disabled.

The one-count negligence suit seeks more than $30,000 in damages.