Clip of The Day

Legendary comedian Jerry Lewis in his memorable "typewriter scene" a masterpiece from "Who's Minding the Store" a 1963 comedy. HC.

THE FAMOUS SEA CAPTAIN

Once upon a time there was a famous sea captain. This captain was very successful at what he did. For years he guided merchant ships all over the world. Never did stormy seas or pirates get the best of him. He was admired by his crew and fellow captains. However, there was one thing different about this captain. Every morning he went through a strange ritual. He would lock himself in his captain quarters and open a small safe. In the safe was an envelope with a piece of paper inside. He would stare at the paper for a minute, then lock it back up. After that, he would go about his daily duties. For years this went on, and his crew became very curious with each passing day. Was it a treasure map ? Was it a letter from a long lost love ? Everyone speculated about the contents of that strange envelope. One day the captain died at sea. After laying the captain’s body to rest, into the ocean, the first mate led the entire crew into the captain’s quarters. He opened the safe, got the envelope, opened it and…The first mate turned pale and showed the paper to the others. Four words were on the paper: “Portside = left. Starboard = right.”

Should I Laugh, Should I cry?!

LAUGHTER’S THE BEST MEDICINE

(Thank you indeed, Mrs. Hornung)

When a woman lies

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?" The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires
"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.The seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.
"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "Yes."
The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy. Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?'' "Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. "Is this your husband? The Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said "no" to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.

Then if I said "no" to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said "yes," you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so that's why I said "yes" to George Clooney. And so the Lord let her keep him.

The moral of this story is:

Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it.

Signed,

All Us Women

Good For Nothing Information - GFN

A cat’s heart beats 120 times per minute!

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain". Mark Twain

Mark Twain was the pen name for Samuel Langhorne Clemens November 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910, an American author and humorist. Twain is noted for his novels Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1884), which has been called "the Great American Novel", and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (1876). He is extensively quoted. Twain was a friend to presidents, artists, industrialists, and European royalty.

Mark Twain was very popular, and his keen wit and incisive satire earned praise from critics and peers. Upon his death he was lauded as the "greatest American humorist of his age", and William Faulkner called Twain "the father of American literature".

By the way on this past 21 of April were completed one hundred years of his death.

Rules of Thumb

“RATHER”

RATHER - Um tanto, Meio
OR RATHER - Ou melhor, Aliás
WOULD RATHER - Preferiria
RATHER THAN - Em vez de

e.g. “She is rather tall, or rather, she is tall, but if she could choose, she would rather be short rather than tall”. Rather peculiar the example above, don’t you think ?

SYMPATHETIC

Function: Adjective

Comparative and superlative forms: more sympathetic; most sympathetic

Meanings:

1- Feeling or showing concern about someone who is in a bad situation : having or showing feelings of sympathy

e.g.: He received much help from sympathetic friends.

Note: This sense of sympathetic is often followed by to or toward.
e.g.: She is very sympathetic to/toward the poor.

2 - Not used before a noun : having or showing support for or approval of something — often followed by to or toward
e.g.: He was not sympathetic to/toward their cause. He did not support their cause.

3 - Having pleasant or appealing qualities : causing feelings of sympathy
e.g.: The book doesn't really have any sympathetic likable characters. I didn't find the hero in the movie very sympathetic.

Derived form:
Sympathetically adverb
e.g.: She sympathetically asked how she could help. The character was treated sympathetically.