Best Scenes from Classic Movies.

"Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" is a 1969 American Western film directed by George Roy Hill and screenplay by William Goldman. Based loosely on fact, the film tells the story of Wild West outlaws Butch Cassidy, Paul Newman and his partner, the "Sundance Kid" Robert Redfor. The film won four Academy Awards: Best Cinematography; Original Score for a Motion Picture, Best Music, Song ("Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head"- Burt Bacharat); and Best Story and Screenplay Based on Material Not Previously Published or Produced.
The movie also won numerous British Academy Film Awards, including Best Film, Best Direction, Best Screenplay, Best Cinematography, Best Actor (Redford though), and Best Actress for Katharine Ross. In 2003, the film was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress as being "culturally, historically and aesthetically significant". This specific scene occurs when the two outlaws flee to Bolivia and they have to jump into the gorge but The Sundance Kid (Redford) can't swim. See the clip. HC

LAUGHTER’S THE BEST MEDICINE

Life Saver Pig
A homeless man stops at a farmhouse to beg to spend the night. The farmer answers the door and says, “Sure, we can put you up.”

The vagrant washes up for dinner and meets the family downstairs. Sitting at the dinner table are the farmer, his wife, their son, and a gigantic pig who is sitting at the table like a human. Throughout the meal the vagrant tries not to stare at the pig, who sports three medals around his neck, as well as a wooden leg.

Finally, he can contain his curiosity no longer. He asks “Would you mind telling me about the bronze medal around your pig’s neck?”

The farmer says “Sure. It’s really an incredible story. Little Timmy here was swimming in the lake when he got a cramp and started to drown. This pig heard his cries for help, busted out of his pen, ran to the lake, and saved our son’s life. So, we gave him the medal.”

The vagrant is amazed and says “Well, how about that silver medal?”

The farmer says “A few months ago our house caught fire in the middle of the night while we were all sleeping. This pig saw the flames, busted out of his pen and ran into the house, waking us up in time. To show our gratitude we gave him that silver medal.”

The homeless man says “While I’m at it, I might as well ask you about the gold medal.”

The farmer says “My wife was attacked by a burglar several weeks ago. This pig heard her cries, busted out of his pen, and chased that man far away. To show my thanks I gave him that gold medal”

The homeless man sits in awe of the pig, who is blithely eating his meal with a knife and fork. He asks “What about the wooden leg?”

The farmer says, matter-of-factly, “Well, you don’t eat a pig like THAT all at once!”


At the confessional
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl." The priest asks,
- Is that you, little Joey Pagano?
- Yes, Father.
- And who was the girl you were with?
- I can’t tell you, Father, I don’t want to ruin her reputation.
- Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now.
- Was it Tina Minetti?
- I cannot say.
- Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?
- I’ll never tell.
- Was it Nina Capelli?
- I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.
- Was it Cathy Piriano?
- My lips are sealed.
- Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?
- Please, Father, I cannot tell you. The priest sighs in frustration.
- You’re very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself. Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers...
- What’d you get?
- Four months vacation and five good leads…


Chicken Little

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class.
She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer.
She read, '… and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!'
The teacher paused then asked the class, 'And what do you think that farmer said?'
One little girl raised her hand and said, 'I think he said:
'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!''
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"The genius of Einstein leads to Hiroshima." Pablo Picasso

CRIME AND PUNISHMENT

This poster was released in the mid 80s and prompted a total recall of all posters because of the picture painted in ice-cubes at bottom right corner - a woman performing an act. The graphic artist who designed the picture put this in as a joke, and it went through unnoticed until someone spotted it on the back of a Coke truck. The artist lost his job and was sued, and all promotional material had to be recalled and destroyed.

LOVE IS....

Love is… “when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and she still says he is “handsomer” than Robert Redford." Chris, age 8

Tip of the Day

ENGLISH IS A CRAZY LANGUAGE

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; yet the plural of house is houses, not hice. If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet? If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never say methren. Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, now imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim….!

Tell Me Why...

TELL ME WHY … “are there phone bills in a country of free speech

Quiz

Select the word that best completes the sentence

reference - conference - deference - inference

1. I am traveling to São Paulo next month for a class __________.
2. A sign of hard times is that she will need a personal __________ to get the job.
3. Young people of today should treat their elders with __________.
4. She made the __________ that it was snowing by looking at the window.

FAMOUS sentences by famous MOTHERS

THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!"

CURIOSITY

Mathematical Genius at Large

Louisiana - There is one bandit in Louisiana who had better give up armed robbery until he learns how to count. The man walked into a small store, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter.

The total amount of cash he got from the drawer was $15.

Clip of The Day

"Singing in the Rain" is a classic film musical of 1952 with Gene Kelly, Donald O'Connor, Debbie Reynolds, Jean Hagen and a great cast...

"With the advent of sound in motion pictures a silent film production company make a difficult transition to "talkies". Don Lockwood (Gene Kelly) and Lina Lamont (Jean Hagen) are the darlings of the silent screen, it is decided though, to turn Don and Lina's new film into a "talkie" and a musical . This special scene is taken when Don is being drilled by a Diction Coach. Then Cosmo Brown (Donald O'Connor) comes in and... See what happens. HC

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tciT9bmCMq8

A QUOTE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY, (or is it an apple?)

"It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous."

Robert Benchley - American humorist best known for his work as a newspaper columnist and film actor.

GOOD FOR NOTHING

The round fishbowl was invented by Countess Du Barry, mistress of King Louis XV of France

Quiz

Read The Sentence Below:

"FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS."

Now count the F's in that sentence. Count only once, don't go back a 2nd time.
Answer: Somewhere In This Issue.

WORDS OF WISDOM

"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Word of the Day (Doris)

Roadblock

Function: noun (count)

Plural: Roadblocks

Meanings:

A place where police or military officers stop drivers especially in order to examine vehicles. Something that stops progress.

eg: That's the one roadblock to the plan. Roadblocks on the path to success.

LAUGHTER’S THE BEST MEDICINE

Degrees Of Blonde

FIRST DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up..

The husband asked, "Who was that?"

The wife answered, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."

SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."

The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"
So, the first blonde hands her the compact.

The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"

The blonde replies, "Shut up, jerk, you're next!"

FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, .. I know 'em all."

A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?"
The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy .. it's W."

FIFTH DEGREE
Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
A: "Is it mine?"

SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs.. Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware ."

SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"

STUPID QUOTES

"If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure."
Dan Quayle - Former U.S. Vice-President

ANSWER TO THE QUIZ:

A person of average intelligence finds three of them.
If you spotted four, you're above average.
If you got five, you can turn your nose at most anybody.
If you caught six, you are a genius.
There is no catch. Many people forget the "OF"'s.
The human brain tends to see them as V's and not F's.

RULES OF THUMB

SNOWDROP

A snowdrop is a spring flower. It is one of the first flowers to grow in spring. Snowdrops are tiny, white flowers. They look like small bells. They have a lovely smell.

Can you find a description using "look (s) like" in this reading?

"They look like small bells."
This sentence compares the flowers to bells. Maybe you have never seen a snowdrop, but you have seen a bell. Now you know the shape of a snowdrop!

You can use the words "look (s) like" to
compare two things.

e.g. Jane looks like her mother.
e.g. The moon looks like a football.

In countries with four seasons, spring is a happy season.

Read the following dialogue:

Teacher - Why are you so happy, Mary ?

Mary - Spring is my favorite time of year! It brings the end of winter. Snow melts. The sun shines. The air warms. Flowers bloom. I don't want to study. I just want to be in the sun!

Teacher - My goodness! You have "Spring Fever!"

Notes: season: different times of the year based on weather changes.
melt: to become liquid (snow melts and becomes water!)
bloom: to grow flowers:
spring fever: a lazy, happy feeling that comes with warm weather.