LAUGHTER’S THE BEST MEDICINE

Castaway
From a passenger ship one can see a bearded
man on a small island who is shouting and
desperately waving his hands.
“Who is it?” a passenger asks the captain.
“No idea. Every year when we pass, he goes
mad like that” answered the captain!

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society." Mark Twain - American humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)

NOTES ON THE FORM OF ENGLISH

THE PRESENT PERFECT TENSE - PART II

This verb tense, the most difficult for us, Portuguese-speaking people, is as you already know formed by the Present Tense of To Have and the Past Participle of the Main Verb. It can be used in three different ways:

1 - AÇÃO REALIZADA NO PASSADO E CONTINUANDO NO PRESENTE.

I - Equivale ao INDICATIVO PRESENTE

e.g. - She has studied English for two years.
Ela estuda inglês há dois anos.
I haven't gone to Rio since last November.
Eu não vou ao Rio desde novembro.
She has worked as a teacher for more than six years now.
Há mais de seis anos que ela trabalha como professora.

II - Equivale ao PERFEITO DO INDICATIVO

e.g. - Parisians have always boasted about their famous Eiffel Tower.
Os parisienses sempre se vangloriaram da sua famosa Torre Eiffel.
Her father has been away from home for 5 months.
Faz cinco meses que o pai dela deixou a casa.
I have never seen anything so terrible as the genocide in Ruanda.
Nunca ví nada tão terrível como o genocídio em Ruanda.

III - Equivale ao PERFEITO COMPOSTO DO INDICATIVO

e.g. - I have noticed the way you wear your hat.
Eu tenho notado o modo como você usa seu chapéu.
Brasília hasn't had great politicians in the past 50 years.
Brasília não tem tido grandes políticos nos últimos 50 anos.
The President's authority has been questioned theses days.
A autoridade do Presidente tem sido questionada presentemente.

2 - AÇÃO RECÉM TERMINADA

e.g. - He has just arrived from his trip to Tibet.
Ele acaba de chegar da sua viagem ao Tibete.
The plane has just left for New York.
O avião acaba de sair para Nova Iorque.
What have you just done?
O que você acaba de fazer?

3 - PASSADO INDETERMINADO

e.g. - It has rained a lot, that's why the streets are flooded.
Choveu muito, é por isso que as ruas estão inundadas.
He has never done any business under the counter.
Ele nunca fez nenhum negócio por debaixo dos panos.
Have you ever been to Bahia? Havent't you? Well, go then.
Você já foi à Bahia? Não? Então vá.

(to be continued)

NOTES ON THE FORM OF ENGLISH

A VERY FIRST APPROACH TO THE
USE OF THE PRESENT PERFECT TENSE

Formação: Presente do Verbo To Have + Particípio Passado do Verbo Principal.
Uso 1 - Indica uma ação que iniciou no passado e ainda continua.
e.g. I have lived in Recife for 45 years.
He hasn't seen his girl friend since last September.

Uso 2 - Com as palavras Ever, Never, Already e Yet.
e.g. Has she ever eaten "Russian Caviar"?
Have they already studied their lesson?
Has she read that magazine yet?
I have never tried caviar.

Uso 3 - Com períodos de tempo não findos.
e.g. He has gone to Rio Three times this year.
She's typed ten letters today

RULES OF THUMB

Let's play with the letter "S"

1 - The commonest way of forming the plural of nouns is to add "S" to the singular:
e.g. Book - Books
House - Houses
Boy - Boys

2 - The Third Person Singular of the Present Tense ends in "S":
e.g. She looks gorgeous in that red dress
He speaks English and French
She drives her car recklessly

3 - The apostrophe before a final "S" stands for a Possessive Case:
e.g. This is Mary's book
That is Mr Booher's automobile

4 - The apostrophe before a final "S" also stands for IS:
e.g. Peter's a nice guy. Peter is a nice guy
He's waiting for you at the airport. He is waiting for you at the airport

5 - The apostrophe before a final "S" stands for HAS:
e.g. He's (he has) gone to Paris on his Annual Leave
She's (she has) been sleeping for 24 hours

6 - The apostrophe before a final "S" stands for LET'S = LET US:
e.g. She is tired, let's take her home.
Forget the football game, let's go to the movies instead.

7 - The apostrophe after a final "S" indicates the possessive form of the plural:
e.g. The Girls' results were better than the Boys'.

HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY

"TEACHERS OPEN THE DOOR, BUT YOU MUST ENTER BY YOURSELF"
(Chinese Proverb)

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"It's paradoxical that the idea of living a long life
appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old
doesn't appeal to anyone." Andy Rooney

TONGUE TWISTER

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN READ ENGLISH ?
TRY THIS TONGUE TWISTER!

Mr. See and Mr. Soar were old friends. See owned a saw and Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw before Soar saw See, which made Soar sore. Had Soar seen See's saw before See saw Soar's seesaw, then See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. But See saw Soar and Soar's seesaw before Soar saw See's saw, so See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw. It was a shame to let See see Soar so sore just because See's saw sawed Soar’s seesaw.

LAUGHTER'S THE BEST MEDICINE

MIRROR, MIRROR

The little girl knelt in the confessional and said,
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned."

"What is it, my child?"

The girl said, Father, I have committed the sin of vanity.
Twice a day I gaze at my face in the mirror and tell myself
how beautiful I am. The priest then, took a good look at the girl,
and said, My dear, I have good news for you:

"That isn’t a sin, it’s only a mistake!"

Teaching Tips & Ideas

PREPOSITIONS

ABOVE - Acima de. Superior. Mais de.
1 - Indica posição superior a um outro objeto e equivale a “acima de”.
e.g. - The clouds are heavy above us.
She lives on the floor above her parents.
The seats in this circus are placed one above the other.

2 - Significa “superior a”.
e.g. - That is above my comprehension.
It is above your will

3 - Significa “mais do que”.
e.g. - The candidate had above a thousand supporters with him.
I esteem him above the others.
The fish weighs above a pound.

RULES OF THUMB - 2

THE USE OF SUFFIXES

The suffixes ment (act of, state of), er (one who does) and ness (act of, state of) can be added to words to make a noun. Add one of these suffixes to each word below so that the new word will make sense in each sentence.

1. (state) The President made a _______________to the Congress.
2. (teach) Our English___________went on vacation this weekend.
3. (deaf) People’s___________is the result of noise pollution.
4. (preach) His brother is a_____________in the Baptist Church.
5. (govern/agree) The_____________signed an_________with the senators.
6. (paint) Picasso, the famous______________was born in Spain.
7. (sad/play) We saw the team’s_______when their best_______was hurt.
8. (fresh) _____________is important in vegetables.
9. (measure) Paul doesn’t know the exact____________of the garage door.
10. (sing) Sinatra was the best American_______of this century.
11. (pay) Please, do not forget your monthly___________.

DRIVING

A permission to drive a car is called a License. In most countries you need to take a written test and a practical driving test to get a Driver’s License. In Massachusetts - USA for example, a person who is 16 years old can get a Learner’s Permit that allows him/her to drive with a licensed driver. With this permit, they are not allowed to drive between the hours of 12:00 a.m. and 5:00 a.m. unless they are driving with a parent who is a licensed driver.
Learners can get a Driver’s License when they are 18 years old.The cost for a Learner’s Permit is $15.00 US. For a Driver’s License is $20.00 for the driving test and $33.75 for the Picture License.


RULES OF THUMB - 1

Look at these two meanings of “Drive”:
Drive as a verb – means to control a car or any other vehicle.
e.g. we usually drive to school.

Drive as a noun – means to have purpose and energy for a goal or plan.
e.g. He has the drive to succeed.

When we drive a car, we usually have a location/place we want to reach.
When we have drive we have the purpose/energy to get to our goal/destination
which may or may not be a location/place.


Which sentences refer to driving a car ?

a) My wife drives very fast. (She really does)
b) He has a lot of drive.
c) Jack and Jill are driving to the airport now.
d) She is driven to finally reach her goal.

Remember: “DRIVE CAREFULLY AND DEFENSIVELY”

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"A REAL FRIEND IS ONE WHO WALKS IN WHEN THE REST OF THE WORLD WALKS OUT."

LAUGHTER'S THE BEST MEDICINE

Good Ol’ King Arthur

A knight and his men return to their
castle after a long hard day of fighting.

"How are we faring?" asks the king.
"Sire," replies the knight, "I have been
robbing and pillaging on your behalf
all day, burning the towns of your enemies
in the west."

"What?!" shrieks the king.
"I don't have any enemies to the west!"
"Oh," says the knight. "Well, you do now Sire".

GFN - Good For Nothing

Johnny Weissmüller, the screen's most famous
Tarzan, was hired for the role without a screen test.

RULES OF THUMB

Idioms using the word "Eat"

To Eat like a bird = to eat very little
To Eat like a horse = to eat a lot of food and to eat often
To Eat your heart = to suffer from jealousy and envy
To Eat your words = to take back your words; to apologize for something that you said
To Eat out of your hand = to have someone do exactly as you wish
To Eat dirt = expression of triumph, said to a vehicle overtaken in a race

Teaching Tips & Ideas

PREPOSITIONS

BEFORE – Antes de. Perante. Diante. Ante.
Indica posição em frente a um objeto.
Indica também prioridade, precedência em classe,
ordem ou sucessão.

e.g. - I shall be there before 6 o’clock.
The holiday season starts a fortnight before May 1st.
You must mail this letter before that package.
“I’ll have these players play something like the murder of my father
before mine uncle”. (Hamlet, Act II. Scene II.)

BEHIND – Atrás. Indica a posição do objeto atrás
do outro ou seguindo um outro. Indica que um objeto
fica após a remoção de um outro.

e.g. - He died leaving a glorious name behind him.
I keep leaving my umbrella behind me.

BELOW - Abaixo de. Indica inferioridade de classe, de dignidade etc.

e.g. - When the Sun sets it goes below the horizon.
An Earl is below a Marquis in rank.
Should I sign my name below the dotted line ?
The city of Recife, people say, is below the sea level.

OCTOBER 12 - COLUMBUS DAY

The second Thursday in October commemorates Italian navigator Christopher Columbus' first landing in the "New World" on October 12, 1492. Persistent with his belief that the world was round and not flat, Columbus sailed west in the attempt to find a better trade route to Asia. In this 1492 voyage sponsored by Queen Isabella of Spain, he stumbled upon one of the Caribbean islands which he believed to be an island of the Indies near Japan or China. He died never knowing he had stepped onto land that few Europeans, if any, knew existed. Today the celebration of Columbus Day and what it commemorates remains controversial.

UNDERSTANDING ALL THAT PROGRESS

Computers are unquestionably part of everyday life and the Internet has, since the middle of the 1990s, revolutionized communication. Computer technology is becoming cheaper and more available around the world. However, due to the fact that this technology is relatively new and changes rapidly you ought to be familiar with the equipment and its possibilities. The Internet along with the Computer are becoming part of everybody’s lives and here’s some vocabulary that may come in handy as you navigate the World of the Wide Web. H.C.

Word List

@ = at
dot com - a website company
site – website - a place to go on the world wide web
start-up - a new company
e-commerce - shopping on the web
online - on the Internet
search engine - helps you look for different websites on the web
web browser - helps you “browse” or look around the web
www– world wide web

Some “e-breviations”

e-mail – electronic mail
e-card – electronic greeting card
e-ticket – electronic airline ticket
BTW – used in e-mail – means “by the way”
FAQ – “frequently asked questions”
HTML – the standard language for writing documents on the web
URL – a web address, like www.bixiguento.com
ISP – internet service provider, the company that gives you internet service.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"It is easier to love humanity as a whole
than to love one's neighbor." Eric Hoffer

RULES OF THUMB

The word "thankful" comes from the noun "thanks."

e.g. - I'd like to say thank you. I'm am very thankful.

Here are some more adjectives that end in FUL

helpful - someone who helps others
cheerful - someone who feels happy, or full of cheer
tearful - someone who is sad or their eyes are full of tears
powerful - having a lot of power
painful - causing pain
colorful - having many colors; full of color

LAUGHTER'S THE BEST MEDICINE

A Bit Too Late?

The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat.

I hadn't considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained,

"I'm delivering him to my doctor's office."

The other driver leaned out of his window said,

"I hate to tell you, lady he said, but I think it's too late!"

GFN - Good For Nothing

Fingernails have a life span of three to six months.
That's how long it takes them to grow from base to tip,
progressing at the pace of 1.5 inches a year
or 0.000000047 inches a second!

Teaching Tips & Ideas

PREPOSITIONS

NEAR - Perto de. Indica proximidade.
Empregado antes do Particípio Presente
equivale a “a ponto de”.

e.g. - You were near falling into the pool.
He lives near the church.

OF - De. Caso genitivo. Posse.

e.g. - A glass of water.
The pages of the book.
The privileges of the Royal Family.

OFF - Longe de. Fora. Indica separação. Distância etc.

e.g. - Take off your hat.
She fell off the bike.
The stream is two miles off.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"A classic is something that everybody wants to have read
and nobody wants to read."
Mark Twain

NICE POETRY

“A PEAR IS TO PARE AND THEN TO EAT.
THE OTHER IS A PAIR TO PUT ON FEET”!
Nice poetry, isn’t it ?
Check the pronunciation of PEAR - PARE and PAIR !!

RULES OF THUMB

POSITION OF ADVERBS

1 – Advérbios de Tempo Definido: NO COMEÇO OU NO FIM DA FRASE:
e.g. - Tomorrow there will be corn on the cob for dinner.
e.g. - The radio operator heard a familiar voice Yesterday.

2 - Advérbios de Tempo Indefinido: PRECEDEM O VERBO:
e.g. - People Seldom attend operas in Brazil.
e.g. - She Often carries things too far.

3 - O Advérbio vem DEPOIS DO VERBO TO BE:
e.g. - He was always considered a very tough person.
e.g. - Everytime I give her a ring she is never available.

4 – O advérbio vem sempre NO MEIO DO TEMPO COMPOSTO:
e.g. - Have you Ever been to Bahia ? Haven’t you ? Well, go then!

LAUGHTER'S THE BEST MEDICINE

No Respect At All

- My boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect.
Later that morning he went out and got a small sign that read, "I'M THE BOSS"!
He then taped it to his office door. When he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said:

- "Your wife called, she wants her sign back”!

Teaching Tips & Ideas

THE WORD “SICK”:

If you feel sick, you feel physically or mentally ill; not healthy or well.

To feel sick - to feel unwell or ill.
e.g. - I went home early from work because I felt sick.

To get sick - to throw up; to vomit
e.g. - I got sick on the plane because of the turbulence.

To call in sick - to tell your employer that you're not coming to work because you don't feel well.
e.g. - Betty called in sick three days last week. She had the flu.

To be as sick as a dog - To be very, very sick.
e.g. - I was as sick as a dog. I was in bed with a fever of 42 degrees.