Thursday, June 28, 2012

Kiss My ***

A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable the food is terrible It's too hot, It's too cold & the accommodations are awful.

The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. "Good luck will be following you all your days, if you kiss the Blarney Stone," the guide said. "Unfortunately, it's being cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come back tomorrow."

"We can't be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouted. "We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can't kiss the stupid stone."

"Well now," the guide said, "it is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you'll have the same good fortune."

"And I suppose you've kissed the stone," the woman scoffed.

"No, ma'am," the guide said, "but I've sat on it."

Charge of the Day


No comments!

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Heaven and Hell


Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are Italian, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Brazilian and it is all organized by the Swiss.

Hell  is where the chefs are British, the mechanics are Brazilian, the lovers are Swiss, the police German and it is all organized by the Italians.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Laughter's the best...

Patient In Room 302

A sweet old lady telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital. She timidly asked,

- "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"

The operator said,

- "I can, what's the name and room number?"

The old lady in her weak voice said,

- "Norma Findlay, Room 302."

The operator replied,

- "Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse."

After a few minutes the operator returned to the phone and said,

- "Oh, I have good news, her nurse just told me that Norma is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged on Tuesday."

The old lady said,

- "Thank you. That's wonderful! I was so worried! God bless you!"

The operator replied,

- "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?"

The grandmother said,

- "No, I'm Norma Findlay in 302. No one tells me shit."

Teaching Tips

The use of : “To  Make and To Do”  

e.g. To Make A Purchase – To Do Shopping
The above examples are enough to show you that it is sometimes very hard the use of these two verbs. Sorry but all you have to do is study both verbs and get acquainted with the use of them. Here are some expressions:

Make a check______________________________           

Make a difference___________________________

Make a discount____________________________

Make a mess_______________________________

Make a reservation__________________________

Make a bet_________________________________

Make a phone call___________________________

Make a speech_____________________________

Make a question____________________________

Make a question____________________________

Make a compliment_________________________

Make a mistake ____________________________

Make an effort_____________________________

Do a business______________________________

Do a favor_________________________________

Do a good action____________________________

Do a stupid thing____________________________

Do as you like______________________________

That will do________________________________

Do one’s best______________________________

Do good__________________________________

Do justice_________________________________

Do nothing________________________________

Do wrong_________________________________

Do the right thing___________________________

Make a compliment_________________________


As you can see, it’s not that easy to deal with “Make” and “Do”! You should go to the Dictionary and discover the meaning of the words and expressions.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Famous Quotations


"The real reason for not committing suicide is because you always know how swell life gets again after the hell is over". Ernest Hemingway, american writer and novelist who deliberately shot himself with his favorite shotgun.

You Know You Are...


Saturday, June 09, 2012

Neide Hornung


For my friends (including me) who are going through some issues right now: Let's start a prayer avalanche. We all need prayers right now. If I don't see your name, I'll understand. May I ask my "FB Family" wherever you may be to kindly copy, paste and share this status for one hour to give a prayer of support to all those who have family problems, health, struggles, worries and just need to know that someone cares. Do it for all of us for nobody is immune. I hope to see this on the walls of all my friends just for moral support. I know some will!! I did it for a friend and you can too. Share some faith, love, and spiritual healing for all in need. Thank you.

Friday, June 08, 2012

Clip of the Day



Comments are unnecessary!

Today's Lesson


That's How I Want To Go

An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for an IRS agent and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed.

The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything. Both the IRS agent and lawyer were touched and flattered that the old preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moment.

They were also puzzled; the preacher had never given them any indication that he particularly liked either of them.

They both remembered his many long, uncomfortable sermons about greed, covetousness and their avaricious behavior that made them squirm in their seats.

Finally, the lawyer said, "Preacher, why did you ask the two of us to come?"

The old preacher mustered up some strength, then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I want to go, too."

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

FBI - New Rules


The Secret Service issued new rules of conduct for agents Friday. They can no longer get drunk, procure hookers or go to strip bars. The rules say that from now on, if agents feel compelled to engage in such behavior, they can run for public office like everyone else.

Sunday, June 03, 2012

Teaching Tips


Jesus the Driver

A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned.

Susie said, "He was born in a manger."

Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple."

Little Johnny said, "He has a red pickup truck but he doesn't know how to drive it."

Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny?"

"From my Daddy," said Johnny. "Yesterday we were driving down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and Daddy yelled at him, 'Jesus Christ! Why don't you learn how to drive?'"