Clip of The Day

Captain Bravo

Long ago lived a seaman named Captain Bravo. He was a manly man who showed no fear in facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the seven seas, a look-out spotted a pirate ship and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravo bellowed,

- “Bring me my Red Shirt.”

The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain’s red shirt and whilst wearing the bright red frock he led his men into battle and defeated the pirates.

Later on that day, the look-out spotted not one, but two pirate ships. The captain again called for his red shirt and once again, though the fighting was fierce, he was victorious over the two ships. That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day’s triumphs and one of the them asked the captain,

- “Sir, why do you call for your red shirt before battle?” The captain replied,

- “If I am wounded in the attack, the shirt will not show my blood and thus, you men will continue to fight, unafraid.”

All of the men sat in silence and marveled at the courage of such a manly man as Captain Bravo. As dawn came the next morning, the look-out spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirates ships approaching from the far horizon. The crew stared at the captain and waited for his usual reply.

Captain Bravo calmly shouted,

- “Get me my brown pants.”

Odd News

Grandma Patty Bigbee

DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. (AP) - A Florida woman and her boyfriend have been charged with trying to sell her infant grandson for $30,000.

Florida Department of Law Enforcement agents arrested 45-year-old Patty Bigbee and 42-year-old Lawrence Works on Friday in Daytona Beach after they met with an agent posing as a buyer. Both were charged with illegal sale or surrender of a child, and Bigbee was also charged with communication fraud.

FDLE agent Wayne Ivey said an investigation began last month after an informant told authorities the woman was trying to sell the baby. Authorities say the woman originally wanted $75,000 but was talked down to $30,000.

The child's mother is currently incarcerated on unrelated charges.

The infant has been turned over to child welfare officials.

Authorities said they didn't know if Bigbee or Works had an attorney.

WORDS OF WISDOM

“BETTER TO REMAIN SILENT AND BE THOUGHT A FOOL THAN TO SPEAK OUT AND REMOVE ALL DOUBT”.
Abraham Lincoln.

LAUGHTER’S THE BEST MEDICINE

5 Bucks

A man is walking around New York with his wife. They find a perfume shop, the wife goes in, and he waits outside. A hooker comes along and says to him...

- "Like to come home with me, buddy?"
- "For how much?", asks the man.
- "One hundred dollars," the hooker answers.
- "I’ll give you five bucks," he replies.

The hooker swears at him and walks away. A little later, the man’s wife comes out of the shop and they continue their walk. As they round the corner, there stands the same hooker. She takes one look at the man and his wife and says,

- “AHA! See what you get for five bucks?”


Father & SonA young Arab asks his father:

- What is this weird head gear we are wearing?

- Why, it’s a “chechia” because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun!

- And what is this type of clothes that we are wearing?

- It’s a “djbellah” because in the desert it is very hot and it protects your body!

- And what are these ugly shoes that we have on our feet?

- These are “babouches”, which keep us from burning our feet when in the desert!

- Tell me papa?

- Yes my son?

- "Then, why the f**k are we living in London…?"

Word of The Day

Give–And–Take

Function: noun (noncount)

Meanings:
1 - The process by which people reach an agreement with each other by giving up something that was wanted and agreeing to some of the things wanted by the other person

e.g.: A successful marriage requires a lot of give-and-take between husband and wife.

2- US: The act or process of exchanging ideas or comments

e.g.: She enjoys a lot of friendly give-and-take with her customers.

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it." Bob Hope, Actor, Comedian and Author.

RULES OF THUMB

The thumb is the short, thick finger on your hand, the one that helps you hold things.

Thumb Nouns
The noun “thumb” is used in a lot of expressions:
To give someone the thumbs up/down,
to give someone approval/disapproval)

Thumb Verbs

Thumb is also used as a verb.
To thumb a ride (informal) to hitchhike; to try to get a ride by standing on the road sticking out your thumb.

Thumb Idioms
Here are some idioms with thumb. Can you guess their idiomatic meanings by thinking about their literal meanings?

To stick out like a sore thumb:
Betty sticks out like a sore thumb in that yellow dress. Everyone else is wearing blue. In other words, Betty looks very different from everyone else; she looks a little foolish.

A green thumb:
He has a green thumb. He is good at making plants grow. Everything in his garden flourishes.

A Rule of Thumb: (a practical rule) “You should pay your best attention to the Tips of Grammar as well as The Rules of Thumb listed in every issue of this BULLETIN. HC

Clip of The Day

"Harry and Sally"... is a 1989 American romantic comedy film written by Nora Ephron and directed by Rob Reiner. It stars Billy Crystal as Harry and Meg Ryan as Sally. The story follows the title characters from the time they meet just before sharing a cross-country drive, through some twelve years or so of chance encounters in New York City. The film raises the question "Can men and women ever just be friends?"

The whole story starts when Sally gives him a ride to New York after they both graduate from University. The film jumps through their lives as they both search for love, but fail, bumping into each other time and time again. Finally a close friendship blooms between them, and they both like having a friend of the opposite sex. But then they are confronted with the problem: "Would it be possible for a man and a woman be friends, without sex getting in the way?"

Curiosity: The lady who says "I'll have what she's having" after Sally's faked orgasm is director Rob Reiner's mother who happened to be visiting the set that day.

The orgasm scene was filmed at Katz's Deli, an actual restaurant in New York. The table at which the scene was filmed now has a plaque on it that reads, "Congratulations! You're sitting where Harry met Sally." HC

LAUGHTER’S THE BEST MEDICINE

MUD PIES

A man pleaded with the psychiatrist, "You've got to help me.
It's my son."
"What's the matter?"
"He's always eating mud pies. I get up in the morning and
there he is in the backyard eating mud pies. I come home at
lunch and he's eating mud pies. I come home at dinner and
there he is in the backyard eating mud pies."
The psychiatrist reassured him, "Give the kid a chance. It's
all part of growing up. It'll pass."
"Well, I don't like it, and neither does his wife."


Magic Elevators
A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, 'What is this Father?'

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.'

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son.....

'Go get your Mother'

GFN INFORMATION

No piece of paper can be folded more than 7 times if it is being folded in half for each of the 7 folds!

Odd News

Police: Man tossed oranges at planes
Published: Nov. 10, 2010 at 3:56 PM

MESA, Ariz., Nov. 10 (UPI) Police in Arizona said they arrested a man who was caught throwing oranges at airplanes and sniffing spray paint near an airport.

Investigators said they responded to a call at the Falcon Field municipal airport in Mesa and found Brian Henio, 33, in a neighboring orange grove throwing fruit at the planes, The Arizona Republic, Phoenix, reported Wednesday.

Police said Henio had paint on his upper lip and they recognized the smell of spray paint.

The suspect, who was described by police as "extremely jittery," told officers he knew he was trespassing and wanted to go to New Mexico, the arrest report said.

Henio, who allegedly tried to resist being handcuffed, was arrested and charged with possession of a vapor releasing substance, possession of drug paraphernalia and trespassing. He was taken to the Mesa City Jail.

WORDS OF WISDOM

I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress. President Ronald Reagan

Word of The Day

OBNOXIOUS

Function: adjective

Comparative and superlative forms: more obnoxious; most obnoxious

Meaning: Unpleasant in a way that makes people feel offended, annoyed, or disgusted

e.g. He said some really obnoxious things about his ex-girlfriend at the party. Some teenagers were being loud and obnoxious. An obnoxious smell.


Derived forms:
Obnoxiously: Adverb
e.g. Obnoxiously loud music.

Clip of The Day

"PANDORA AND THE FLYING DUTCHMAN" (1951) is Albert Lewin's interpretation of the legend of the Flying Dutchman. The film stars: James Mason, Ava Gardner, Nigel Patrick and others. Ava Gardner became one of Hollywood's leading actresses, considered one of the most beautiful women of her day.

"In a little spanish seaport named Esperanza, during the 30s, appears Hendrick van der Zee, the mysterious captain of a yacht (he is the only one aboard). Pandora is a beautiful woman (who men kill and die for). She's never really fallen in love with any man, but she feels very attracted by Hendrick... We are soon taught that Hendrick is the Flying Dutchman, this sailor of the 17th century that has been cursed by God to wander over the seas until the Doomsday... unless a woman is ready to die for him..."

Famous last words

"The ladies have to go first. Goodbye, dearie. I'll see you later". John Jacob Astor

Astor and his wife were traveling on the Titanic when it struck an iceberg and began to sink. As Astor prepared to enter a lifeboat with his wife, a group of female passengers appeared on deck. He gave up his seat and spoke his final words to his wife; he was later found floating in the ocean, drowned.

Quote of the Day

"Broadly speaking, the short words are the best, and the old words best of all". Winston Churchill

LAUGHTER’S THE BEST MEDICINE

Clever Judge. But You Still Can't Beat The Lawyer

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:

- “My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb.”

- “Well put,” the judge replied. “Using your logic, I sentence the defendant’s arm to one year’s imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses.”

The defendant smiled. With his lawyer’s assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

RULES OF THUMB

Now, let's look at the adjective ending - less.

When we add - less to a word, it means "without".

"shiftless" - without shifting, without moving, usually means "lazy", "faceless" - without a face.

What do you think "sleepless" means? How about "friendless" "homeless?"


Let's have fun with "less"

Fill in the blanks with a word from the list.

painless
sleepless
topless

1. I've had three _______ nights in a row. I guess I need some sleeping pills.

2. It is illegal for a woman to be _________ on most beaches.

3. Don't worry. The operation will be _________ .
We'll give you anesthesia.

Word of The Day

Naturally

Adverb

Meanings:

Naturally is used to describe something that happens or exists by itself without being controlled or changed by someone.

e.g. Her hair curls naturally.

A naturally sweet tea.
A number of important vitamins are found naturally in dark green vegetables like spinach.
Pearls are produced naturally by oysters.
He is naturally blond.
Their friendship developed naturally over time.

Naturally is also used to say that something is expected or normal.

e.g. Naturally, some mistakes were made.

When he heard the comment, he was naturally (of course) a little offended.
Naturally you’ll want rooms for the night.
“Did you visit her while you were there?” “Naturally.” (of course; yes)

Because of a quality or skill that a person or animal is born with

e.g. She’s naturally competitive.
He’s naturally able to make people feel comfortable.
Cats are said to be naturally curious.

In a way that is relaxed and normal

e.g. It’s hard to speak/act naturally when you’re nervous.

In a way that makes sense : in a logical and reasonable way

e.g. Her conclusions follow naturally from the theory.
Questions about the journalist’s sources arise naturally from such a controversial report.
When I saw that there were no lights on in the house, I naturally assumed you were asleep.

Idiom: Come Naturally
Meaning: If something comes naturally to you, you are able to do or learn it easily.

e.g. Musical talent comes naturally to that family.
Memorizing important dates in history came naturally to him (was easy for him) in school.