Saturday, December 27, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Mommy, Is God Black or White?
One day Little Johnny walks up to his Mom and says,
- “Mommy, is God Black or White?”
She replies,
- “Well, Honey, God is both Black and White.”
Then he says,
- “Mommy, is God a boy or a girl?”
- “God is both a boy and a girl, Honey,” she replies.
- “Mommy, is God gay or straight?” he inquires again. Getting a little irritated, the mother replies,
- “Well, Honey, God is both gay and straight.”
After thinking for a moment, Johnny looks up and asks,
- “Mommy, is God Michael Jackson?”
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Amazing Stories
One day when I was home alone a parcel was left at the door I opened it and there was a box. Inside there were puzzle pieces. I didn't think much of it and left it at that. Later that night when I was in bed I heard noises outside my window. Scared, I decided to solve that strange puzzle to keep my mind off of the spooky noises. As I was putting it together I realized that the puzzle was of my bed room, scared and yet curious I continued to solve the puzzle. Until I noticed that I was in the puzzle solving a puzzle and that there was a tall dark man outside my window holding a knife!! Totally freaked and dazed I looked slowly up at my window and there he was the man from the puzzle looking at me!! I screamed as loud as I could and ran into the lounge and tried to tell mum what had happened. She completely ignored me like I was invisible or something. That was when I realized she COULDN'T see me. Horrified I ran outside only to feel a sharp pain right in my back I turned expecting the man from the puzzle. As soon as our eyes met.........I woke up!
I know everyone hates that ending but I cant think of anything else!
Friday, December 12, 2008
QUOTE OF THE DAY
LAUGHTER'S THE BEST MEDICINE
Does Any One Like Women ?
A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."
The barman says, "Wow! You must have had one hell of a day."
"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."
The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today, the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.
The bartender says, "Geez! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?".
"Yeah, my wife..."
WORD OF THE DAY
yo-yo
Function: verb
Inflected forms:
yo–yos; yo–yoed; yo–yoing
Meaning:
to move repeatedly and quickly up and down or from a higher level to a lower level
e.g. Her weight has yo-yoed in recent years. She has lost weight and then gained weight again quickly
Thursday, December 04, 2008
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."
Mark Twain - (Samuel Langhorne Clemens, was an American author and humorist)
ADVICE TO YOUNG READERS
You may know that Jacqueline Kennedy was the first lady married to President John Kennedy, but did you know that she was a book editor too? Before she passed away in 1994, Ms. Kennedy shared her best advices to young readers. Here are some of the points that she made.
“Read for escape, read for adventure, read for romance, but read the great writers. The great writers will always be easier and more enjoyable than any others, for these writers can stir your imagination best and open your world to the new experiences that books hold in store. The best writers will also help you develop your own language skills. Poetry is important, too. Rhythm is what should seize you when you read poetry.”
“If you wanted to paint, for instance, you would go look at paintings. Great painters learned to paint by copying others. If you read, you may want to write. You, too, may want to try to express your feelings by writing about them.”
“Once you can express yourself, you can tell the world what you want from it or how you would like to change it. All the changes in the world, for good or evil, were first brought about by words.”
LAUGHTER'S THE BEST MEDICINE
Blonde Job
An ambitious young blonde woman, in need of money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type. She began, door to door, canvassing a wealthy neighborhood for work. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
- “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said,
- “How about 50 dollars?”
The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
- “You’re finished already?” he asked.
- “Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.” Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
- “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”
Teaching Tips & Ideas
HAD BETTER - "É melhor que, é preferível que.
Affirmative and Negative forms
I had better - I had better not
you had better - you had better not
he had better - he had better not
she had better - she had better not
it had better - it had better not
we had better - we had better not
you had better - you had better not
they had better - they had better not
"Had better" is most commonly used to make recommendations.
It can also be used to express desperate hope as well as warn people.
Examples:
You had better take your umbrella with you today. (recommendation)
That bus had better get here soon! (desperate hope)
You had better watch the way you talk to me in the future! (warning)
She had better stop daydreaming and be more realistic.
Hadn't you better go and see a specialist?
We'd better get that loan lest the lack of cash becomes a drawback to our plans.
He'd better cut her dead for, she stood him up three times in a row.
You'd better do your task from cover to cover immediately.
I'd better go now or I'll be late for class.
"Had better" is often simply pronounced as "better" in spoken English.
USE & WEAR
To Use:
e.g. He uses compasses to describe a circle. She uses nuts to give her cake a better flavour.
To Wear:
e.g. The so-called Wash 'n Wear garments are made of a special fabric that needs little or no ironing.
See those double examples:
e.g. That lad has two handkerchiefs.
One he uses to wipe his nose, the other he wears in his outer pocket.
WORD OF THE DAY
Q.T.
Idiom: on the Q.T.
Status: informal
Meaning: in a secret or quiet way
e.g.
All the arrangements were made on the q.t. She told me about it on the q.t. This information is private, so keep it on the q.t. (don't tell anyone about it)
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