PNEUMONIA
A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help. On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good. On his third visit the doctor told the man to go home and take a hot bath. As soon as he was finished bathing he was to throw open all the windows and stand in the draft.
"But doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get pneumonia."
"Well, I can cure pneumonia."
THE DIET
A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds.
"When the woman returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?" The woman nodded. "I'll tell you, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?"
"No, from skipping
IT DOESN’T PAY…
A good man passed away and went to heaven. He was greeted by St. Peter, who congratulated him and said he could have anything he wished. The fellow requested something to eat and a telescope so that he could look around. While eating the sandwich he peered through the telescope down at the folks in hell and saw that they were feasting on lobster, filet mignon and caviar. “How come people down there are eating gourmet food?” he asked St. Peter.
“I earned a place in heaven, but you gave me only a tuna-fish sandwich!
”Well, replied St Peter, “it doesn’t pay to cook for just the two of us.”
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