GREAT LIFE TRUTHS

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

STUPID QUOTES OF THE DAY

“It’s no exaggeration to say that the undecided could go one way or another.”

“I have opinions of my own – strong opinions – but I don’t always agree with them.”



George Bush, US President

HERE'S THE DEAL

We would particularly like to acknowledge the valuable contribution sent by
Prof. Roberto Lamenha.

"Following you will find a few easy sentences for you to "Check Your English". Answers will be given somewhere in this issue."

1 - A bebida é por conta da casa. _____________________________________
2 - A blusa combina com a saia. ______________________________________
3 - De nada adiantará. _____________________________________________
4 - Dei uma indireta. ______________________________________________
5 - Desculpe-me a franqueza. ________________________________________
6 - É ele mesmo (apontando). _______________________________________
7 - Ele substituiu um colega doente. ___________________________________
8 - Ele substituiu o professor efetivo. __________________________________
9 - Li por alto. ___________________________________________________

10 - Mas, claro. _________________________________________________

11 - Não é bem isso o que eu quis dizer. _______________________________

JOKES OF THE DAY

PNEUMONIA
A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help. On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good. On his third visit the doctor told the man to go home and take a hot bath. As soon as he was finished bathing he was to throw open all the windows and stand in the draft.
"But doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get pneumonia."
"Well, I can cure pneumonia."

THE DIET
A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds.

"When the woman returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?" The woman nodded. "I'll tell you, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?"
"No, from skipping

IT DOESN’T PAY…
A good man passed away and went to heaven. He was greeted by St. Peter, who congratulated him and said he could have anything he wished. The fellow requested something to eat and a telescope so that he could look around. While eating the sandwich he peered through the telescope down at the folks in hell and saw that they were feasting on lobster, filet mignon and caviar. “How come people down there are eating gourmet food?” he asked St. Peter.

“I earned a place in heaven, but you gave me only a tuna-fish sandwich!
”Well, replied St Peter, “it doesn’t pay to cook for just the two of us.”

RULES OF THUMB

The word "thankful" comes from the noun "thanks."
- I'd like to say thank you.
- I'm am very thankful.

Here are some more adjectives that end in FUL:

helpful - someone who helps others
cheerful - someone who feels happy, or full of cheer
tearful - someone who is sad or their eyes are full of tears
powerful - having a lot of power
painful - causing pain
colorful - having many colors; full of colors

ANSWERS TO THE PUZZLE:

1 - The drinks are on the house.
2 - The blouse and the skirt go together.
3 - It won't do any good.
4 - I hinted at it.
5 - Forgive me for saying so.
6 - It's him all right.
7 - He filled in for a sick colleague.
8 - He substituted for the regular teacher.
9 - I glanced over it.
10 - Why, of course!
11 - That's not quite what I meant.