THE CITY OF THE LONER - Chapter 10

THOUGHTS OF
REVENGE

I don’t know how I got here, or how they locked me up in this cubicle. I only know that I am alone, detained in the Maximum Security Prison. Yet, although I am isolated from the world, at this moment I am so happy that I could jump up and down. It must seem strange that someone in my situation could feel so euphoric, but I have a good reason. Once again, CC’s aqua banner reigns victorious at the top of the flagpole at the stadium. With a score of 1 x 0, CC conquered the Loner’s Crystal trophy.

In the City, celebrations were exploding all over the place. There is no way to compare my happiness behind bars to what was going on outside. However, for me, my own joy has a supreme value. I almost died of remorse, fearing that my immaturity could cause CC’s defeat. I thank God, that I got lucky and was able to make it up to my team. I paid for my foolishness with the marvelous goal that won us the victory and the trophy.

After the victory, I could see that things had changed. Even Jailer, in his habitual silence, showed compassion for me by bringing me paper and a pencil for my writing. Still, my time in jail seemed like an eternity as I sat in jail not knowing what was going on in the 2nd half of the game at the CSC. I watched Jailer pace as he listened to the game on the radio. As usual, his
poker face hid any of the emotion of the game. I analyzed his features hoping to glean any information whatsoever about the game, and finally by the end, when I had figured out that we won, I breathed more easily.

With the victory, I gained a new life — born like all others with pain and suffering. From the time I had arrived at the Maximum Security Prison, I had been plagued by how my situation tormented Champion. The worst feeling was knowing the risk that CC could lose such an important match. For hours on end, I would imagine how awkward the old athlete must have felt with only 10 of our players facing our enemies. And it was all my fault. I blamed myself for the circumstances under which we fell into the trap of our rivals. It had all been a set up. It was clear now that the stranger had been sent to the City with the mission of provoking a fight with me. I had never been so stupid. I’d been led into a no-win situation where had I not fought back, I would have ended up in the hospital as broken down as the stranger. Because I did fight, I ended up in prison. It was only after Judge announced my sentence that I realized I’d been trapped, and I concluded that sometimes you can stop evil by putting good at risk.

Learning this lesson cost me painful feelings of guilt. From the moment of the sentence, a terrible burden weighed down on me. The feeling came to stay and began to eat away at me and feed my despair. “Why are our acts irreversible?” I wondered. I realized that I hadn’t meant any harm when I lost control, and I wished that I could turn back the clock and change what had happened. But facts are like the waterfall that Teto discovered, once the water falls, it can never go back. If I did have the chance to go back, I would have known how to avoid fighting. Even if he had insulted us with comments a thousand times worse, Pilungo and I would have snuck away calmly, so that our team could be complete on the big game day. We would have gotten back at the stranger with the triumphant spectacle of our victory. I realized that for a moment of worthless rage, I had jeopardized the City.

When I looked back at the situation, I had to admit the stranger was also victorious. He had an objective and he reached it, though his cost was high. Clearly, he loved his hometown. The proof was in the sacrifice that he made: broken teeth and ribs and a smashed nose. Lying in his hospital room, he must have been content in the fact that the people of his town would recognize his efforts.

These thoughts raced through my mind day and night.

They changed within my mind.

They changed me.

At that point, it was no longer guilt that I was feeling. It was hate and an obsession with getting even. Whatever the cost, I would get my revenge.

Carefully, I made my plan. It was nothing extraordinary, nothing particularly special. It was simply this. When my ninth day was over and I was free, I would go to the hospital, find that completely defenseless stranger in casts from head to toe and kill him in his bed. I didn’t care if it would seem cowardly or not. As soon as I did the deed, I would take off for the unknown. No one, not even my mother, who I love more than anyone else in the world, would know where I was; and wherever I ended up, no one would know who I was. At moments like this, a mother’s love isn’t worth much; it was hate that kept me going.

Last night when these ideas were milling through my mind, I didn’t even notice the nightfall. Wrapped cozily in my evil thoughts, I slept.