At the classroom

This teacher was reviewing her class's homework assignment.

She asked Susie to stand up and tell the class what part of the human body enlarges to seven times its original size when stimulated. Susie stood up, shuffled her feet and said,

- "Well, I think I know, but I'm too embarrassed to tell you."
The teacher said,

- "Sit down, Susie. 

- Johnny, tell the class what part of the human body enlarges to seven times its size when stimulated." Johnny said,

- "That's easy. The pupil of the eye enlarges to seven times its original size when stimulated by light." The teacher said:
 
- "That's right, Johnny." Then she turned to Susie and said, "Susie, first of all, you didn't do your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, when you get married, you're in for a big disappointment."

Need Water!

 A traveler was stumbling through the desert, desperate for water, then he saw something, far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked towards the image, only to find a little old peddler sitting at a card table with a bunch of neckties laid out. The parched wanderer asked, 

- "Please, I'm dying of thirst, can I have some water?" 

The man replied...

- "I don't have any water, but why don't you buy a tie? Here's one that goes nicely with your clothes." 

The desperate man shouted, 

- "I don't want a tie, you idiot, I need water!" 

- "OK, don't buy a tie. But to show you what a nice guy I am, I'll tell you that over that hill there, about 5 miles, is a nice restaurant. Walk that way, they'll give you all the water you want." 

The man thanked the peddler and walked away towards the hill and eventually disappeared out of sight. Three hours later he returned. The man at the card table asked, 

- "I told you, about 5 miles over that hill. Couldn't you find it?" 

- "I found it all right. They wouldn't let me in without a tie."