Clip of The Day

David Letterman and President Barack Obama discuss whether the President believes racism is behind recent political attacks. Watch the clip and see "The Guy". HC.

TIPS OF THE DAY

"THE WORD “SICK”

If you feel sick, you feel physically or mentally ill; not healthy or well.

To feel sick - to feel unwell or ill.
e.g. I went home early from work because I felt sick.

To get sick - to throw up; to vomit
e.g.I got sick on the plane because of the turbulence.

To call in sick - to tell your employer that you're not coming to work because you don't feel well.

e.g.Betty called in sick three days last week. She had the flu. I was as sick as a dog. I was in bed with a fever of 42 degrees.

To be as sick as a dog - to be very, very sick.

LAUGHTER’S THE BEST MEDICINE

It Happen At Church

A blond man showed up at work one day with a black eye. When his co-workers saw him they asked him what happened. He told them it had happened at church. They insisted that you couldn’t get a black eye at church, and wanted to know what really happened.

So, he told them,

-“I went to the church, I got on my knees and prayed, I stood up to sing the hymns. There in front of me was the biggest woman I had ever seen, and when she had stood up, her dress had got stuck in her butt-crack, so being the gentleman I am, I reached over and pulled it out for her and she did not like that so she hit me.” The guys laughed and ribbed him about it all day.

The next week he showed up to work and his face was beat bad! Again the guys asked him what had happened and he told them he’d got beaten up at church. Again they didn’t believe him, so he explained,

- “I went to the church, I got on my knees and prayed, I stood up to sing the hymns, and there in front of me was that same big woman with her dress again stuck up her butt-crack.” At this point the other men interrupted and said

- “Please tell us you didn’t pull her dress out of there again?”

- “No, the guy standing beside me did, and I knew she didn’t like that—so
- I shoved it back in.”

REASONS WHY NOT

We’ve never done it before
Nobody else has ever done it.
It has never been tried before.
We tried it before.
Another company tried it before.
We’ve been doing it this way for 25 years.
It won’t work in a small company.
It won’t work in a large company.
It won’t work in our company.
Why change, it’s working ok.
The boss will never buy it.
It needs further investigation.
Our competitors are not doing it.
It’s too much trouble to change.
Our company is different.
The Ad Dept. says it can’t be done.
The Sales Dept. says it can’t be sold.
The Service Dept. won’t like it.
The janitor says it won’t work.
It can’t be done. That’s it !
We don’t have the money.
We don’t have the personnel.
We don’t have the equipment.
The Union will scream.
It’s too visionary.
You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"I would like the firing squad, please."

RONNIE LEE GARDNER, a condemned murderer in Utah, picking his method of execution.

Soapbox

Function: noun (count)

Plural: soapboxes

Meaning:

A box or small platform that someone stands on to give a speech to people in an outdoor, public place

e.g.: a soapbox speech

Note: Soapbox is often used figuratively to describe making speeches or expressing strong opinions.

e.g.: His fame as an actor provides him with a soapbox to encourage young people to vote.

He jumped on the soapbox and spoke out against the war.

She needs to get off her soapbox and stop telling people what to do.

Clip of The Day

All right, everyboby! Here's a work of art. Enjoy this old clip where Dean Martin challenges John Wayne to sing. Mr. Wayne then, by mysterious means sings a hit with the voice of Frank Sinatra. Very Funny. HC.

Uncle Scam

Tough economic times are, unfortunately, boom times for scammers, as people desperate for money and jobs let down their guards and are more likely to pursue questionable financial opportunities that caution might ordinarily warn them away from. And as folks become more inured to monetary woes, their charitable inclinations are more easily exploited by scammers pretending to be persons in need of sympathetic helping hands. Listed below are several pervasive forms of scams that have proven particularly alluring to potential victims when times are tough.

Nigerian Scam
A wealthy foreigner who needs help moving millions of dollars from his homeland promises a hefty percentage of this fortune as a reward for assisting him.

Foreign Lottery Scam
Announcements inform recipients that they've won large sums of money in foreign lotteries.

Secret Shopper Scam
Advertisers seek applicants for paid positions as 'secret' or 'mystery' shoppers.

Work-at-Home Scam
Advertisers offer kits that enable home workers to make money posting links on the Internet.

Friends and Family Member in Distress Scam
Scammers impersonate distressed family members in desperate need of money.

Famous last words

Cold Harbor. June 3rd. I am dead.
Who: An American Soldier
Note: This note was found on the body of a Union soldier, pinned to the inside of his jacket. Prior to the suicidal attack at the Battle of Cold Harbor on June 3rd, 1864, many Union soldiers placed final notes inside their jackets prior to leaving their entrenchments.

LAUGHTER’S THE BEST MEDICINE

I Owe My Mother

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because, I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE..
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out"

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favorite:

25 My mother taught me about JUSTICE .
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Thank you, Mom!

Quote of the Day

If you really don't know where to go, it makes no difference which road you take. (Cheshire Cat)

Word of The Day

Vest

Function: verb (with object)

Inflected forms:
vests; vested; vesting

Status: formal

Meaning:
To give (someone) the legal right or power to do something or to own land or property

e.g:
Congress is vested with the power to declare war. The power to declare war is vested in Congress.
After five years, you’ll be fully vested in the company pension plan. (you will have earned the right to get a full pension when you retire).

Clip of The Day

The Winter of My Discontent

You guys & dolls have noticed that this Blog has been motionless since last January. We do have a very serious reason for that. The fact is that some idiots have invaded our place for the advertisement of Viagra, Cialis and other potions. Another stupid appears tearfully accusisng his girlfriend of having sex with his best friend, and as a revenge, he is willing to show photos of the traitress exactly the way she came into the world. In the nude. I considered it to be a very serious menace! Not to mention the numerous times I won in the lottery somewhere and was favoured with fabulous amounts of sterling pounds and dollars. Ten or twenty messages of the kind per day were driving me crazy. Too much for my foolish mind. Now as the problem seems to have been solved we have another one. You cannot (at least for the time being) send your comments if you want to. Noboby is allowed to do so! For the sake of the Blog. Sorry. But the show must go on.HC .

Climate Changes

Gordon Brown

Climate change is the biggest threat to all our futures. It will affect every individual, every family, every community, every business and every country.

So it is fitting that today people from all over the world are coming together to blog on climate change for Blog Action Day.

In less than two months, politicians will meet in Copenhagen to forge a critical new deal on tackling climate change.

I will go to the talks in December if it means we will get an agreement and I am urging other leaders to join me. But it must be the start of something not the end.

And it is not just about what governments do; we all have to take responsibility to cut emissions from our homes, our cars and our places of work.

Sarah and I are trying to do our bit. In Downing Street, we are composting, recycling, using energy-saving light bulbs and buying locally-sourced and sustainable food whenever possible. It’s little things like this which will make a big difference if we all do them.

Like every parent, I want to leave a safe and secure world for my children. And I want to be able to look them in the eye because our generation stood up for their future.

Funny Conversations

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper, So I'd be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper, So I could have a new one everyday.

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you

Husband: Today is Sunday and I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why Three?
Husband: For you and your parents

QUIZ – Read The Sentence Below:

"FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS."

Now count the F's in that sentence. Count only once, don't go back a 2nd time. Answer Somewhere In This Issue.

Answer this very important question...!…

How do you know when you're in the middle of nowhere?

ANSWER TO THE QUIZ:

A person of average intelligence finds three of them.
If you spotted four, you're above average.
If you got five, you can turn your nose at most anybody.
If you caught six, you are a genius.
There is no catch. Many people forget the "OF"'s.
The human brain tends to see them as V's and not F's.

Word of The Day

Given

Function: adjective

Meaning:
Given is used to refer to a particular time, place, etc., that has been, will be, or might be specified.

e.g.: You’ll have to finish the exam within a given (amount of) time.
They agreed to meet again at a given location.
Climate has a great effect on the types of plants found in any given area.
You never know what might happen on any given night.

Idiom:
given to
Meaning:
Given to is used to say that a person often behaves in a specified way.

e.g.: A man (very) much given to swearing/profanity (a man who swears often)
She is somewhat given to behaving selfishly. (She is somewhat given to selfishness.)

Idiom:
take (something) as given
Meaning:
to regard or accept (something) as true or real
e.g.: I think we can take their support as given. (I think we can take (it) as given that they will support us. (I think we can assume that they will support us)