Word of The Day

Banner

Function: noun (count)

Plural: banners

Meanings:
a : a large strip of cloth with a design, picture, or writing on it
e.g. A banner was hung over the street advertising the local theater production. Banners were carried by members of each group marching in the parade.

Note: This sense of banner is often used figuratively.
e..g. Both candidates are running under the banner of "no new taxes." (both candidates are using "no new taxes" as a slogan). A group of scientists gathering together under the banner of NASA (in a meeting/event set up by NASA). Changes made under the banner of "restoring order" (for the officially stated purpose of restoring order).

1 b literary : flag
Example:

The Star-Spangled Banner

2 : words printed in large letters at the top of a newspaper’s front page under the name of the newspaper — called also banner headline

3 : an advertisement that is across the top of a page on the World Wide Web — called also banner ad

"Did You Evah!" is a song written by Cole Porter for his 1939 musical Du Barry Was a Lady, where it was introduced by Betty Grable and Charles Walters. It was also performed in the 1956 film High Society by Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra. Enjoy the Video below. H.C.

Did You Evah - High Society

Word of The Day

Unmask

Function: verb (with object)

Inflected forms:

unmasks; unmasked; unmasking

Meaning:

to reveal the true identity or nature of (someone or something)

e.g. He was unmasked as a spy.

Laughter's the Best Medicine

Marital Humor

Wife

- ’What are you doing?’

- Husband: ’Nothing’.

- Wife: ’Nothing..? You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for over an hour!!’

- Husband: ‘I was looking for the expiration date.’


Wife

- ‘Do you want dinner?’

- Husband: ‘Sure! What are my choices?’

- Wife: ‘Yes or no.’

Wife

- ‘You always carry my photo in your wallet.. Why?’

- Hubby: ‘When there is a problem, no matter how great it is, I look at your picture and the problem simply disappears.’

- Wife: ‘You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?’

- Hubby: ‘Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?’


Girl

- ‘When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden.’

- Boy: ‘It’s very kind of you, darling, but I don’t have any worries or troubles.’

- Girl: ‘Well, that’s because we aren’t married yet.’


Son

- ‘Mommie, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to be polite and give up my seat to a lady.’

- Mom: ‘Well, you have done the right thing.’

- Son: ‘But mommie, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.’


A newly married man asked his wife

- ‘Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me that fortune?’

- ‘Honey,’ the woman replied sweetly,

- ‘I’d have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU THAT FORTUNE!’


Girl to her boyfriend

- One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.
The guy replies:

- ‘Thanks for the early warning.’


A wife asked her husband

- ‘What do you like most in me, my cooking, my pretty face or my sexy body?’

He looked at her from head to toe, smiled, and replied:

- ‘Well …….I REALLY like your sense of humor!’

Quote of The Day

"Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck." This was the suicide note left by George Sanders an English film and television actor. He was found dead in his hotel room, along with five empty bottles of Nembutal. Sanders was 65 years old. His body was cremated and the ashes were scattered in the English Channel

An Ode to English Plurals

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes, but the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England. We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.

We have noses that run and feet that smell.

We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.

And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?

HIGH SOCIETY

High Society is a musical film made (1956) by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer in VistaVision and Technicolor with music and lyrics by Cole Porter. It was directed by Charles Walters and produced by Sol C. Siegel from a screenplay by John Patrick, based on the play The Philadelphia Story by Philip Barry. The cinematography was by Paul Vogel, the art direction by Cedric Gibbons and Hans Peters and the costume design by Helen Rose.The film stars Bing Crosby, Grace Kelly, Frank Sinatra, Celeste Holm with Louis Armstrong, John Lund, Louis Calhern, Sidney Blackmer, and Margalo Gillmore.

High Society marked the final acting role for Grace Kelly before she became Princess of Monaco and the film was actually released three months after her marriage to Prince Rainier III of Monaco. At the time of the film's release, Sinatra and Holm were over forty and Crosby was fifty-three and Kelly, however, was only twenty-six. Enjoy Frank Sinatra & Celeste Holm singing "Who Wants to Be a Milionaire," H.C.

BREAKING NEWS: JULY 8TH:

AT 5 MINUTES AND 6 SECONDS AFTER 4 A.M., ON THE 8TH OF JULY, THIS YEAR, THE TIME AND DATE WILL BE:

04:05:06 07-08-09

THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN UNTIL THE YEAR 3009!!!

REASONS WHY NOT

Just imagine that some important changes should be performed in the company you work for. After a number of staff meetings everything seems to remain the same. Those sentences below were presented as good reasons for not changing anything at all. Your task is to study these sentences and give your personal opinion.

It has never been tried before.
We tried it before.
We’ve never done it before.
Another company tried it before.
We’ve been doing it this way for 25 years.
It won’t work in a small company.
It won’t work in a large company.
It won’t work in our company.
Why change, it’s working ok.
The boss will never buy it.
It needs further investigation.
Our competitors are not doing it.
It’s too much trouble to change.
Our company is different.
The Ad Dept. says it can’t be done.
The Sales Dept. says it can’t be sold.
The Service Dept. won’t like it.
The janitor says it won’t work.
It can’t be done. That’s it !
We don’t have the money.
We don’t have the personnel.
We don’t have the equipment.
The Union will scream.
It’s too visionary.
You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

Word of The Day

UBIQUITOUS

Function: adjective

Comparative and superlative forms: more ubiquitous; most ubiquitous

Meaning: seeming to be seen everywhere

e.g. ubiquitous celebrities

The company’s advertisements are ubiquitous.

Derived forms: Ubiquitously adverb

ubiquitousness noun (noncount)

ubiquity noun (noncount)

Status: formal

e.g. The ubiquity of the company’s ads

Laughter's the Best Medicine

The Confessional Booth

After a heavy night of drinking at the local bar, a drunk stumbles into a Catholic church and slowly makes his way into the confessional booth. There, the priest patiently awaits the man to begin his confession.

After a few minutes of silence, the priest politely taps on the window… nothing. The priest taps again and this time clears his throat a bit… still nothing. At this point the priest begins to lose his patience and bangs on the window.

Finally the dunk yells out…

- “Ain’t no use knocking, there ain’t no paper over here either!”

Quote of The Day

"Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint you can at it." Danny Kaye, American award-winning actor and comedian

Teaching Tips & Ideas

PREPOSITIONS

AMIDST - Indica a posição de objetos e pessoas no meio deoutros. Emprega-se também em sentido figurado com substantivos abstratos.

e.g.: - We saw her amidst the crowd.
The ship sank amidst the waves.
She found herself amidst the confusion.

AMONG - AMONGST - Entre. Indicam a posição de objetos misturados com outros. Raras vezes são empregados em sentido figurado.

e.g.: - They decided among themselves.
There never ought to be dissentions amongst friends.
I divided my books among them.

AROUND - Ao redor de. Em redor de. Por volta de.

e.g.: - She tied a yellow ribbon around the Ole Oak Tree.
We’ll be there around midnight.
Around the world in 80 days.

Singin' in the Rain

In Brazil, "Cantando na Chuva", in Portugal "Serenata à Chuva", is a 1952 comedy musical film starring Gene Kelly, Donald O'Connor, and Debbie Reynolds. Directed by Kelly and Stanley Donen, with Kelly also providing the choreography. Kelly's most remembered and most loved number seems to be the title dance.

To quote Will Friedwald: “It's not only the four most rapturous minutes in the history of cinema, but everything that dance should be, a glorious affirmation of everything that it means to be alive.” The movie is frequently described as one of the best musicals ever made. Enjoy the Video right under. H.C.

THE CHAUFFEUR

(To be read with your best British accent)

Mrs. Winterly was a very rich woman. Her husband was a multi-millionaire. She was quite young and he was quite old. She was twenty-eight and he was fifty-eight. They lived in a very large house in England. Mrs. Winterly never cooked or cleaned the house. She never worked and she never drove a car. When she wanted to go anywhere she would call Charles. Charles was her chauffeur. Mr. Winterly travelled a lot. He flew to many countries to do business. Mrs Winterly did not like to fly so she often stayed at home. Once Mr. Winterly went to America for a week. Mrs. Winterly decided to go shopping so she walked to the garage to find Charles. She found him in his room above the garage. Mrs Winterly looked at him and said in a whisper,

- “Charles, take off my hat”
- “Certainly, madam,” Charles replied.
Then he took off Mrs. Winterly’s hat.

- “Charles, take off my coat.”
- “Certainly, madam,” Charles replied.
Then he took off Mrs. Winterly’s coat.

- “Charles, take off my shoes.”
- “Certainly, madam,” Charles replied.
Then he took off Mrs. Winterly’s shoes.

- “Charles, take off my dress.”
- “Certainly, madam,” Charles replied.
Then he took off Mrs. Winterly’s dress.

Then, Mrs. Winterly looked deep into the eyes of the chauffeur and said,

- …“AND DON’T YOU DARE TO WEAR MY CLOTHES AGAIN!”…

(extracted from Lessons With Laughter – London 1996)

Word of The Day

PETRIFY

Function: verb

Inflected forms:
petrifies; petrified; petrifying

Meanings:

1 - (with object): to make (someone) very afraid

e.g.
It petrifies (terrifies) me to think of how close we came to dying.

2 - (technical): to slowly change (something, such as wood) into stone or a substance like stone over a very long period of time

e.g.
(with object) the processes that petrify wood
(no object) The dead tree petrified into stone.

Laughter's the Best Medicine

I’M THE BOSS

Nancy trains employees in proper dress codes and etiquette. One day as she was stepping onto the elevator, a man casually dressed in jeans and a golf shirt got on with her. Thinking of her responsibilities, she scolded,

- "Dressed a little casual today, aren't you ?”

The man replied…

- "That's one benefit of owning the company."

THE GOLDEN TWELVE

"Do you think you are earning enough to support a family?", the older man asked the suitor.

- Yes, sir, replied Richard, "I'm sure I am."
- Think carefully now," said Jane's father warningly.

-"There are twelve of us!"

Quote of The Day

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."
William B. "Bill" Watterson II American cartoonist is the author of the comic strip "Calvin and Hobbes" cartoon series.

Teaching Tips & Ideas

PREPOSITION - THE UNPREDICTABLE WORD



INTO – Em. Dentro. Indica movimento para dentro de algum lugar.

e.g.: - She poured the tea into the teapot.
The babies got into the cradle.
They went into the garage.
She fell into the pool.

ON – Indica contato de superfície. Usa-se também para ruas e avenidas,
dias da semana e para especificar um dia ou uma data.
e.g.: - There is a painting on the wall.
He lives on Madison Avenue.
I always go to the beach on Sundays.
On Xmas Eve.
The invasion of Normandy started on the morning of June 4 1944.

Danny Kaye conducts New York Philharmonic in Aida Triumphant March

Danny Kaye was an American award-winning actor, singer and comedian. What perhaps most of you do not know is that Danny Kaye won millions of dollars and died in Los Angeles in 1987 practically with no money. What he received he used to give to the needy. He helped many colleagues who were in misery and distributed the rest to charitable institutions. In 2000, the UNESCO awarded him "Citizen of the World" (he had to die). Below is one of his best performances. Watch his lips. Try to read them! H.C.

What Doctors Actually Mean

Ever wondered what the doctor actually means when talking to you? Here is a guide to decoding them:

“This should be taken care of right away.”
I’d planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.

“Welllllll, what have we here…?”
He has no idea and is hoping you’ll give him a clue.

“Let me check your medical history.”
I want to see if you’ve paid your last bill before spending any more time with you.

“Why don’t we make another appointment later in the week.”
I’m playing golf this afternoon, and this a waste of time.
–or–
I need the bucks, so I’m charging you for another office visit.

“We have some good news and some bad news.”
The good news is, I’m going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you’re going to pay for it.

“Let’s see how it develops.”
Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured.

“Let me schedule you for some tests.”
I have a forty percent interest in the lab.

“I’d like to have my associate look at you.”
He’s going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle.

“I’d like to prescribe a new drug.”
I’m writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig.

“If it doesn’t clear up in a week, give me a call.”
I don’t know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.

“That’s quite a nasty looking wound.”
I think I’m going to throw up.

“This may smart a little.”
Last week two patients bit off their tongues.

“Well, we’re not feeling so well today, are we…?”
I’m stalling for time. Who are you and why are you here?

“This should fix you up.”
The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff.

“Everything seems to be normal.”
Rats! I guess I can’t buy that new beach condo after all.

“I’d like to run some more tests.”
I can’t figure out what’s wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one.

“Do you suppose all this stress could be affecting your nerves?”
You’re crazier’n an outhouse rat. Now, if I can only find a shrink who’ll split fees with me …

“There is a lot of that going around.”
My God, that’s the third one this week. I’d better learn something about this.

“If those symptoms persist, call for an appointment.”
I’ve never heard of anything so disgusting. Thank God I’m off next week.

Quote of The Day

"THE ONLY THING WE HAVE TO FEAR IS FEAR ITSELF."
Franklin Delano Roosevelt (January 30, 1882 – April 12, 1945), often referred to by his initials FDR, was the 32nd President of The United States of America

Laughter's the Best Medicine

WORST AGE OF ALL

Sixty is the worst age to be, said the 60-year-old man. You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out.

- Ah, that’s nothing, said the 70-year-old. When you’re seventy, you don’t have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothin comes out!

- Actually, said the 80-year-old, Eighty is the worst age of all.

- Do you have trouble peeing, too? asked the 60-year old.

- No, I pee every morning at 6:00. No problem at all.

- So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?

- No, I have one every morning at 6:30.

Exasperated, the 60-year-old said, "You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what’s so bad about being 80?"

- "I don’t wake up until 7:00."

Word of The Day

FACE VALUE

Function: noun (count)

Plural: face values

Meaning:
The value that is printed or shown on something (such as a coin or bill)

e.g. We paid $100 for tickets that had a face value of $50.

Idiom: At face value

Meanings:
1 - for the price that is printed on something

e.g. We bought the tickets at face value.

2 - Something that is taken or accepted at face value is regarded as true or genuine without being questioned or doubted.

e.g. After all his lying, nothing he says now should be taken at face value.(accepted as true)

Teaching Tips & Ideas

PREPOSITION - THE UNPREDICTABLE WORD

NEAR - Perto de. Indica proximidade. Empregado
antes do Particípio Presente equivale a “a ponto de”.
e.g.: - You were near falling into the pool. He lives near the church.

OF - De. Caso genitivo. Posse.
e.g.: - A glass of water.
A couple of pigeons.
The pages of the book.
The privileges of the Royal Family.

OFF - Longe de. Fora. Indica separação. Distância etc.
e.g.: - Take off your hat.
She fell off the bike.
The stream is two miles off.

If I Fell

Image of The Day

LAST RIDE

THE WRONG DOOR

The air hostess is at the back of the airplane preparing the trays for lunch. A little old lady comes in and speaks to her:

- “Where’s the ladies’ toilet ?”

- “It’s right at the other end of the airplane – at the front!”

She walks to the front of the airplane and opens the door. She sees the captain and his co-pilot. They are busy. They don’t see her.

Then she returns to the air hostess.

- “Is everything O.K.?” the girl asks the lady.

- “Yes, but there are two men in the ladies’ toilet watching TV!”

Adapted from Intermediate Stories for Reproduction, by L.A. Hill


Now... Answer the questions:

Where does this conversation take place ?
Who is at the back of the airplane and what is she doing ?
Who comes in and what does this lady do ?
Where is the ladies’ toilet according to the air hostess ?
What does the lady do then and what does she see ?
What does the old lady say to the air hostess ?

Quote of The Day

"Sink the Bismarck!" A terse order issued by Winston Churchill, Britain's Prime Minister during WW2




(The Bismarck was one of the most fearsome german baattleships afloat. Its Mission: force Britain's surrender)

Laughter's the Best Medicine

BENEFIT OF HAVING SAME NAME FOR ALL KIDS

A scouser goes to the council to register for child benefit.

- “How many children?” asks the council worker.

- “10″ replies the woman.

- “10?” says the council worker. “What are their names?”

- “Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne” she answers.

- “What? They’ve all got the same name?” says the council worker, “Doesn’t that get confusing?”

- “Oh no,” says the scouse woman, “It’s great!

- If they’re out playing in the street I just have to yell ‘WAAAAAYNE, YER DINNERS READY’ or ‘WAAAAAAYNE GO TO BED NOW YER LOUSY LAD!’ and they all do it.”

- “But what if you want to speak to one individually?” asks the perturbed council worker.

- “That’s easy,” says the Scouse woman

- “I just use their surnames.”

Word of The Day

TIDY

Function: adjective

Comparative and superlative forms: tidier; tidiest also more tidy; most tidy

Meanings:

1 - clean and organized - not messy

e.g. She keeps her desk tidy. (neat)

a tidy kitchen. The house is neat and tidy. (lean and organized)

2 - keeping things clean and organized

e.g. He has always been a tidy person.

3 - of an amount of money, informal. Fairly large

e.g. She earns a tidy salary. They paid a tidy sum for the house.

Teaching Tips & Ideas

PREPOSITION, THE UNPREDICTABLE WORD

ACROSS - Indica movimento ou extensão por cima de um objeto, de um lado para outro. – Através de.

e.g.: - He lives across the street.
She swam across the river.

AFTER - Depois de, após, atrás de, em busca ou no encalço de, à maneira de, abaixo de (graduação).

e.g.: - After a storm comes a calm.
The letter arrived the day after.
Peter went after his brothers.
The policeman ran after the crook.
A painting after Rembrandt.
A captain comes after a major.

AGAINST - Contra, em contato com, para, (em previsão de).

e.g.: - Let’s all fight against tyranny.
The public opinion was against George Bush.
She was leaning against the wall.
We must save against bad days in the future.

RULES OF THUMB – “RATHER”

RATHER - Um tanto, Meio
OR RATHER - Ou melhor, Aliás
WOULD RATHER - Preferiria
RATHER THAN - Em vez de

e.g. “She is rather tall, or rather, she is tall, but if she could choose, she would rather be short rather than tall”.

Rather peculiar the example above, don’t you think ?

Image of The Day

A Tribute to a "Ham"

American leading man, Victor Mature was born in Louisville, Kentuck. Mature was educated at parochial schools, the Kentucky Military Institute and the Spencerian Business School. He briefly sold candy and operated a restaurant before moving to California.

Discovered while on stage at the Pasadena Community Playhouse, his first leading role was as a fur-clad caveman in "One Million B.C." (1940), after which he joined 20th Century Fox to star opposite actresses such as Betty Grable and Rita Hayworth. He was cast by John Ford in "My Darling Clementine", playing Doc Holliday opposite Henry Fonda's Wyatt Earp.

For the next decade, Mature settled into playing hard-boiled characters in a range of genres such as Westerns and Biblical films, "The Robe" with Richard Burton and Jean Simmons and its popular sequel, "Demetrius and the Gladiators" with Susan Hayward. Both films deal with the fate of the robe worn by Jesus before the crucifixion. Mature also starred with Hedy Lamarr in Cecil B. DeMille's Bible epic, "Samson and Delilah" (1949) He reportedly stated he was successful in Biblical epics because he could "make with the holy look".

He also starred with Esther Williams in "Million Dollar Mermaid" (1952), and had a romantic relationship with her. Williams, relates in her autobiography that during the filming, the actor made love to her, the whole night long on a beach, while the rest of the team and the cast slept.

Actually he was one of the greatest Hams in the history of Hollywood.

Here are some of his Personal Quotes:

"I'm no actor, and I've got 64 pictures to prove it."

"If you're so concerned about fucking privacy, don't become a fucking actor!"

"Actually, I am a golfer. That is my real occupation. I never was an actor. Ask anybody, particularly the critics."

Victor John Mature died of leukemia in 1999, at his Rancho in Santa Fe, California, at the age of 86. H.C.

Quote of The Day

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
- Mark Twain

Laughter's the Best Medicine

Irish Catholics

Mrs. O'Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin, and coming in the opposite direction was Father O'Rafferty.

- "Hello," said the Father, "and how is Mrs. O'Donovan? Didn't I marry you two years ago?" She replied

- "That you did Father." The priest asked,

- "And are there any little ones yet?"

- "No, not yet Father," said she.

- "Well, now, I'm going to Rome next week, and I'll light a candle for you."

- "Thank you, Father." And away she went. A few years later they met again.

- "Well, now, Mrs. O'Donovan," said the Father, "how are you?"

- "Oh, very well," said she.

- "And tell me," he said, "have you any little ones yet?"

- "Oh yes, Father. I've had three sets of twins, and four singles-ten in all."

- "Now isn't that wonderful," he said, and how is your lovely husband?"

- "Oh, she said...He's gone to Rome. To blow out that fuckin' candle."

Word of The Day

unbalance

Function: verb (with object)

Inflected forms:
unbalances; unbalanced; unbalancing

Meaning:
to cause (something or someone) to stop being balanced, steady, stable, etc.
e.g. If too many people stand up, it will unbalance the boat. The tax cuts have unbalanced the budget. His experiences in the war unbalanced his mind. (made him slightly crazy)

Teaching Tips & Ideas

All right, Dear Teacher, Make My Day!

ACTIVE VOICE PASSIVE VOICE
Present Tense
I BUY a toy - A toy IS BOUGHT by me
I BUY toys - Toys ARE BOUGHT by me

Past Tense
I BOUGHT a toy - A toy WAS BOUGHT by me
I BOUGHT toys - Toys WERE BOUGHT by me

Future
I WILL BUY toys - Toys WILL BE BOUGHT by me

Conditional
I WOULD BUY toys - Toys WOULD BE BOUGHT by me

Modals
I CAN BUY toys - Toys CAN BE BOUGHT by me
I COULD BUY toys - Toys COULD BE BOUGHT by me
I MUST BUY toys - Toys MUST BE BOUGHT by me
I MAY BUY toys - Toys MAY BE BOUGHT by me
I MIGHT BUY toys - Toys MIGHT BE BOUGHT by me

Present Perfect Tense
I HAVE BOUGHT toys - Toys HAVE BEEN BOUGHT by me
He HAS BOUGHT a toy - A toy HAS BEEN BOUGHT by him

Past Perfect Tense
I HAD BOUGHT toys - Toys HAD BEEN BOUGHT by him

Image of The Day

Quote of The Day

"A Countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats."
Benjamin Franklyn - US author, diplomat, inventor, physicist, politician, & printer

Laughter's the Best Medicine

The FBI had an opening for an operative (assassin).

After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

- "We must know that you will follow our instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair . . . kill her!!!’?

The man said,

- “You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.” The agent said,
- “Then you’re not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.”

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes,

- “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.” The agent said,
- “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”

Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.

- ”This gun is loaded with blanks” she said. “I had to beat him to death with the chair.”?

MORAL: Women are crazy. Don’t mess with them…

BIG-BANG

Big Bang sounded like a deep hum

by Marcus Chown

The Big Bang sounded more like a deep hum than a bang, according to an analysis of the radiation left over from the cataclysm.

Physicist John Cramer of the University of Washington in Seattle has created audio files of the event which can be played on a PC. "The sound is rather like a large jet plane flying 100 feet above your house in the middle of the night," he says.

Giant sound waves propagated through the blazing hot matter that filled the Universe shortly after the Big Bang. These squeezed and stretched matter, heating the compressed regions and cooling the rarefied ones.

Even though the Universe has been expanding and cooling ever since, the sound waves have left their imprint as temperature variations on the afterglow of the big bang fireball, the so-called cosmic microwave background.

Word of The Day

CHANGELING:

Noun :

Ugly child left by fairies in place
of a pretty child (folklore); child which is
substituted for another.

"Changeling" is also the title of a 2008 movie film starring Angelina Jolie and directed by Clint Eastwood. The plot tells the story of a mother's prayer for her kidnapped son to return home is answered, though it doesn't take long for her to suspect the boy who comes back is not her son.

Teaching Tips & Ideas

THE SOUNDS OF ED

If the verb ends with "t" or "d" the final "ed" sounds exactly like "t" or "d"

e.g. want - wanted - (wanted)
wound - wounded - (wounded)

If the final sound of the verb is voiceless (no vibration) such as "sh" "tch" or "s", final t-sound is used:

wash - washed - (wosht)
watch - watched - (wotcht)
pass - passed - (passt)

If the final sound is voiced (with vibration) such "m", "n", "b", "z"; final d-sound is used:

comb - combed - (comd) (notice silent b)
plan - planned - (pland)
sob - sobbed - (sobd)
raise - raised - (reizd)

Do Not Believe In What You Hear

Little Johnny was heard by his mother reciting his homework:

- “Two plus two, the son of a bitch is four; four plus four, the son of a bitch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a bitch…”

- “Johnny !” shouted his mother. “Watch your language! You’re not allowed to use the swearwords.”

- “But, Mom,” replied the boy, “that’s what the teacher taught us, and she said to recite it out loud till we learned it.”

Next day Johnny’s mother went right into the classroom to complain.

-“Oh, heavens !” said the teacher. “That’s not what I taught them. They’re supposed to say, "Two plus two, the sum of which is four."!

Image of The Day

Quote of The Day

“The price of greatness is responsibility.”

Winston Churchill

Men & Women Are Just Simple People

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .

The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Word of The Day

Zealous

Function: adjective

Comparative and superlative forms: more zealous; most zealous

Meaning:

- feeling or showing strong and energetic support for a person, cause, etc. filled with zeal

e.g zealous fans - She was one of the president’s most zealous (ardent supporters. The detective was zealous in his pursuit of the kidnappers.

Derived forms:

Zealously - adverb
e.g. He zealously pursued the kidnappers.

Zealousness - noun (noncount)

Laughter's the Best Medicine

Image of The Day

Quote of The Day

Contact is a 1997 film about a scientist, after years of searching, finds conclusive radio proof of intelligent aliens, who send plans for a mysterious machine.

Directed by Robert Zemeckis. Written by James V. Hart and Michael Goldenberg, based on the novel by Carl Sagan.

Below is the puzzling dialogue between Dad and Daughter

Young Ellie Arroway: - Dad, do you think there's people on other planets?
Ted Arroway: - I don't know, Sparks. But I guess I'd say if it is just us... seems like an awful waste of space.

Proofs Of Who Was Jesus

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:

1. He called everyone brother
2. He liked Gospel
3. He didn’t get a fair trial

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:

1. He went into His Father’s business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:

1. He talked with His hands
2. He had wine with His meals
3. He used olive oil

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:

1. He never cut His hair
2. He walked around barefoot all the time
3. He started a new religion

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:

1. He was at peace with nature
2. He ate a lot of fish
3. He talked about the Great Spirit

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:

1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:

1. He fed a crowd at a moment’s notice when there was virtually no food
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn’t get it
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do

Can I get an AMEN!! A WOMAN!?

Word of The Day

Brew

Function: verb

Inflected forms:
brews; brewed; brewing

Meanings:
1 - to make (beer, ale, etc.)
e.g. (with object) They brew the beer on the premises.

The restaurant also brews its own ginger ale and root beer.
(no object) They’ve been brewing in the new brewery since March.

brewing vats - the brewing process

2 - to make (coffee, tea, etc.)
e.g. (with object) I'll brew another pot of tea.

Note: This usage of brew is often followed by up.
e.g.
She brewed up some coffee while I cooked the bacon and eggs.

(no object) The coffee is brewing. (the coffee is being brewed).

3 - (no object) : to start to form
e.g. It feels like there's a storm brewing. Trouble is brewing.

Derived form:
brewer noun [count]
Plural: brewers

e.g. a brewer of fine ales

Laughter's the Best Medicine

Be Fair To Me, Honey

The newly weds arrived at the front desk of the posh ocean-side resort in Hilton Head, South Carolina, looking all fresh, and eager to enjoy their two week vacation - honeymoon.

The stunning blonde at the front desk smiled and said

- "Well, hi Jimmy baby, how ya been lover? Long time no see."

A frosty silence prevailed until the couple reached their room.

Once inside, the piqued bride demanded:

- "And just who was THAT woman ?!?!?"

The groom wiped his brow and said

- "Just relax honey. Please ! I'm going to have enough trouble explaining you to her."