Marital Humor
Wife
- ’What are you doing?’
- Husband: ’Nothing’.
- Wife: ’Nothing..? You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for over an hour!!’
- Husband: ‘I was looking for the expiration date.’
Wife
- ‘Do you want dinner?’
- Husband: ‘Sure! What are my choices?’
- Wife: ‘Yes or no.’
Wife
- ‘You always carry my photo in your wallet.. Why?’
- Hubby: ‘When there is a problem, no matter how great it is, I look at your picture and the problem simply disappears.’
- Wife: ‘You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?’
- Hubby: ‘Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?’
Girl
- ‘When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden.’
- Boy: ‘It’s very kind of you, darling, but I don’t have any worries or troubles.’
- Girl: ‘Well, that’s because we aren’t married yet.’
Son
- ‘Mommie, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to be polite and give up my seat to a lady.’
- Mom: ‘Well, you have done the right thing.’
- Son: ‘But mommie, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.’
A newly married man asked his wife
- ‘Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me that fortune?’
- ‘Honey,’ the woman replied sweetly,
- ‘I’d have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU THAT FORTUNE!’
Girl to her boyfriend
- One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.
The guy replies:
- ‘Thanks for the early warning.’
A wife asked her husband
- ‘What do you like most in me, my cooking, my pretty face or my sexy body?’
He looked at her from head to toe, smiled, and replied:
- ‘Well …….I REALLY like your sense of humor!’
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