LAUGHTER’S THE BEST MEDICINE

- Little Mary Margaret

Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic School. Usually she slept through the class. One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. 'Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?'

When Mary Margaret didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.

'God Almighty!' shouted Mary Margaret.

The Nun said, 'Very good' and continued teaching her class.

A little later the Nun asked Mary Margaret, 'Who is our Lord and Savior?'

But Mary didn't stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt with the pencil.

'Jesus Christ!!!' shouted Mary Margaret and the Nun once again said, ‘Very good,' and Mary Margaret fell back asleep.

The Nun asked her a third question...'What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'

Again, Johnny came to the rescue.

This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted, 'If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'

The nun fainted.



Water In Carburetor

"The car won't start," said a wife to her husband. "I think there's water in the carburetor."

"How do you know?" said the husband scornfully. "You don't even know what the carburetor is."

"I'm telling you," repeated the wife, "I'm sure there's water in the carburetor."

"We'll see," mocked the husband. "Let me check it out. Where's the car?"

"In the swimming pool."




- Everything Is Big In Texas

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas.

When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said,

- "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered,

- "Everything is big in Texas."

When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed,

- "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied,

- "Everything is big in Texas."

After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied,

- "Second door to the right."

The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident. Scared to death, the blind man started shouting,

- "Don't flush, don't flush!



- Be Polite

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: '

Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to... the bathroom?'

Michael said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'

The teacher responded by saying: 'That would be rude and impolite'. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'

Sherman said: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.

' 'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.

And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?'

Johnny said: 'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.'

- The teacher was speechless and fainted

- You're A Big Boy, Johny !

Little Johnny runs down the stairs in tears.
His mother asked,

- “What’s the matter now?”

- “Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with hammer,” said little Johnny through his tears.

- “That’s not so serious,” soothed his mother. “I know you are upset, but a big boy like you shouldn’t cry at something like that. Why didn’t you just laugh?

- “I did!” sobbed Johnny