LAUGHTER’S THE BEST MEDICINE

A Different Perspective

A little boy went up to his father and asked:

- ‘Dad, where did my intelligence come from?’

The father replied.

- ‘Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine..’

At the Courthouse

‘Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,’ the divorce court Judge said, ‘And I’ve decided to give your wife $775 a week,’

‘That’s very fair, your honor,’ the husband said. ‘And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.’

At the ER

A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, ‘I don’t like the looks of your wife at all.’

‘Me neither doc,’ said the husband.

‘But she’s a great cook and really good with the kids.’

At the Wizard's

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, ‘Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.’

The old man says without hesitation,

- ‘I now pronounce you man and wife.’

Blonde

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, ‘Can you tell me how long it’ll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?’ The agent replies,

- ‘Just a minute.’

‘Thank you,’ the blonde says, and hangs up.

Religion

Moe: - ‘My wife got me to believe in religion.’

Joe: - ‘Really?’

Moe: - ‘Yeah. Until I married her I didn’t believe in Hell.’

‘Oops!’

A man is recovering from surgery when the surgical nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.

- ‘I’m O. K. but I didn’t like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,’ he answered.

- ‘What did he say,’ asked the nurse.

- ‘Oops!’

Shopping

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband’s advice.

‘What do you think?’ I asked. ‘Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?’

‘Better get a bikini,’ he replied ‘You’d never get it all in one.’

He’s still in intensive care.

At the Graveyard

The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance.

The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said,

- ‘Well, she’s there.

Famous Quotations

"It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practise either of them." Mark Twain

Famous Last Words

"Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel." George Appel, executed by electric chair in 1928.

RULES OF THUMB

The thumb is the short, thick finger on your hand, the one that helps you hold things.

Thumb Nouns

The noun “thumb” is used in a lot of expressions: to give someone the thumbs up/down (to give someone approval/disapproval)

Thumb Verbs

'Thumb is also used as a verb.
to thumb a ride (informal) to hitchhike; to try to get a ride by standing on the road sticking out your thumb.

Thumb Idioms

Here are some idioms with thumb. Can you guess their idiomatic meanings by thinking about their literal meanings?

To stick out like a sore thumb: Betty sticks out like a sore thumb in that yellow dress. Everyone else is wearing blue. (Betty looks very different from everyone else; she looks a little foolish.)

A green thumb:

He has a green thumb. He is good at making plants grow. Everything in his garden flourishes.

A Rule of Thumb: (a practical rule) “You should pay your best attention to the Tips of Grammar as well as The Rules of Thumb listed in every issue of this BULLETIN”.

Words Origin

The origin of the word "OK"

During historic civil wars, when troops returned without any casualties, a writing was put up so all can see which read. "0 Killed". From here we get the esxpression OK, which means "all is good".

There have been numerous attempts to explain the emergence of this expression, which seems to have swept into popular use in the US during the mid-19th century. Most of them are pure speculation. It does not seem at all likely, from the linguistic and historical evidence, that it comes from the Scots expression och aye, the Greek ola kala ('it is good'), the Choctaw Indian oke or okeh ('it is so'), the French aux Cayes ('from Cayes', a port in Haiti with a reputation for good rum) or au quai ('to the quay', as supposedly used by French-speaking dockers), or the initials of a railway freight agent called Obediah Kelly who is said to have written them on documents he had checked.

A more likely explanation is that the term originated as an abbreviation of orl korrekt , a jokey misspelling of 'all correct' which was current in the US in the 1830s. The oldest written references result from its use as a slogan by the Democratic party during the American Presidential election of 1840. Their candidate, President Martin Van Buren, was nicknamed 'Old Kinderhook' (after his birthplace in New York State), and his supporters formed the 'OK Club'. This undoubtedly helped to popularize the term (though it did not get President Van Buren re-elected).

The only other theory with at least a degree of plausibility is that the term originated among Black slaves of West African origin, and represents a word meaning 'all right, yes indeed' in various West African languages. Unfortunately, historical evidence enabling the origin of this expression to be finally and firmly established may be hard to unearth.

Word of The Day

Fillip

verb

a : to strike by holding the nail of a finger against the ball of the thumb and then suddenly releasing it from that position

b : to make a filliping motion with

: to project quickly by or as if by a fillip : snap

: to urge on : stimulate

e.g.: Inexplicably, Carl walked up to his baby sister and filliped her on the nose.

Clip of the Day

Tommy Johnson - you ain't gonna believe this one! Tommy Johnson plays boogie woogie. An amazing pianist. Plays boogie-woogie piano music incredibly! The Real Boogie Man!

LAUGHTER’S THE BEST MEDICINE

Looks Can Be Deceptive

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table she had a near death experience.. Seeing God she asked

- “Is my time up?” God said,

- “No, you have another 33 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.”

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck.She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded,

- “I thought you said I had another 33 years? Why didn’t you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?” God replied:

- “Shit! I didn’t recognize you.”

Quick Thinking

A man walked into the produce section of a local supermarket and asked to buy a half head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager:

- "Some asshole wants to buy a half head of lettuce."

The manager was looking behind the boy, so the boy turned around to see the man standing right behind him. So he quickly added:

- "And this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."

The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way. Later the manager said to the boy:

- "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here."

- "Thank you, sir," the boy replied.

- "Where are you from, son?"

- "Texas, sir."

- "Well, why did you leave Texas?" the manager asked.

The boy said

- "Sir, there's nothing down there but whores and football players!"

- "Really," said the manager. "My wife is from Texas."

- "No kidding!" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?"

RULES OF THUMB

USING WHO OF WHOM

If you can answer the question being asked with him, then use whom, and it's easy to remember because they both end with m. For example, if you're trying to ask, "Who (or whom) do you love?" The answer would be "I love him." Him ends with an m, so you know to use whom. But if you are trying to ask, "Who (or whom) stepped on Squiggly?" the answer would be "He stepped on Squiggly." There's no m, so you know to use who. So that's the quick and dirty trick: if you can't remember that you use whom when you are referring to the object of the sentence, just remember that him equals whom.
Joseph Bauer, Master Carpenter, Indian Hills, Ohio, USA

Famous Last Words

"Nothing, but death"

When asked by her sister, Cassandra, if there was anything she wanted. Jane Austen, writer, (16 December 1775 – 18 July 1817)

Word Origins

Etymology of Gringo

Origins: The word gringo came from Mexicans' overhearing American soldiers sing the song "Green Grow the Lilacs" during the Mexican-American War. Gringo is also a slang Spanish and Portuguese word used in Spanish-speaking and Portuguese-speaking countries in Latin America, to denote foreigners, often from the United States.

Word of The Day

Amendment

MEANING

Function: noun

Plural: amendments

1 (count) : a change in the words or meaning of a law or document (such as a constitution)

e.g.: Constitutional amendments

Note: This sense of amendment is often followed by to.
e.g.: They proposed an amendment to the law. (they officially suggested that a change be made to the law)
An amendment to section 37 (a) of the tax code

Note: The names of the amendments that have been made to the U.S. Constitution are usually capitalized.
e.g.: The first 10 Amendments to the Constitution of the United States are called the Bill of Rights.
Our right to free speech is protected by the First Amendment (of the U.S. Constitution).


2 (noncount) : the act or process of changing the words or meaning of a law or document : the act or process of amending something

e.g.: Rights that were granted by amendment of the Constitution

Clip of the Day

An intimate tour of Earth's most impressive landscapes as captured by astronauts with their digital cameras. Dr. Justin Wilkinson from NASA's astronaut team shows us the special places that spacemen focus on whenever they get a moment.

Famous Quotations

"If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - a Christian." Mark Twain

LAUGHTER’S THE BEST MEDICINE

Logic

The researcher interviews a grumpy old guy:

- Do you like theater?
- Nope. I went once and did not like.

- Cinema?
- Nope. I went once and did not like.

- Dance?
- Nope. I went once and did not like.

- Pubs?
- Nope. I went once and did not like.

Precisely at this instant a little boy enters the room. He explains:

- My son.

The interviewer then concludes:

- Your only child, I presume!


Beautiful and Cute

My husband was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and I was sitting at his bedside. His eyes fluttered open, and he murmured, "You`re beautiful."

Flattered, I continued my vigil while he drifted back to sleep. Later he woke up and said, "You`re cute."

"What happened to `beautiful`?" I asked him.

"The drugs are wearing off," he replied.

Word Origins

People have been saying "handicapped" for years. Since 1504, in fact.

In 1504, after a brutal war in England, King Henry VII had an idea. King Henry knew that the war had left his country with a great number of disabled veterans. And King Henry, who unfortunately had skipped his REELife Solutions [not a trademark, thank God] training session that morning, could not envision disabled veterans being able to hold a job, or contribute to society (sic).

So King Henry VII passed some landmark legislation. He proclaimed that begging in the streets be legal for people with disabilities. So into the streets, with their "cap in hand", went King Henry's disabled veterans, to beg for money.

And so originated the term "handicap".

"hand-in-cap"

Famous Last Words

"Am I dying or is this my birthday?"
When she woke briefly during her last illness and found all her family around her bedside. Lady Nancy Astor

RULES OF THUMB

First, Second, and Third.

Whether to use first or firstly, second or secondly.

Traditional usage had first, secondly, thirdly, but this is too inconsistent for modern usage.

Most guides prefer just plain old first, second, third, and so forth, without the -ly ending.

Intensive or intense?

The New Fowler's Modern English Usage is a classical book for learners of this language. And Winston Churchill knew that very well, as he wrote to the Director of Military Intelligence about the plans for the invasion of Normandy:

- "Why must you write INTENSIVE here? INTENSE is the right word. You should read Fowler's Modern English Usage on the use of the two words".(Supplied by Breno Grisi).

Word of The Day

A Pat On The Back

Function: idiom

Status: informal

Meaning:

A show of praise or approval

e.g.: You all deserve a pat on the back (you all deserve to be praised) for making this possible.

You did a great job, so give yourself a pat on the back.

Clip of the Day

This is one of the songs The Beatles played for their audition for Decca Records in 1962. Though the performance by Paul is extraordinary and the harmonies by George and John are extremely sharp, The Beatles were rejected. Too bad!

Notice in this original ensemble - Paul McCartney, John Lennon, George Harrison and Pete Best, not Ringo Starr.

Someday in Past

On one occasion at school, Churchill at the age of 13, was asked by his Latin teacher to decline "mensa" (table). The boy proceeded to do so,
giving the nominative, accusative, genitive, dative and ablative.

-"The vocative?"prompted his teacher.

- "But I don't intend ever to talk to tables," Churchill replied reasonably, if impertinently.

Famous Quotations

“I always cry at weddings, especially my own”.
Humphrey Bogart

"How to determine the height of a skyscraper ."

Breno Grisi

This concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen: "Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."

One student replied: "You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building." This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed immediately. He appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the University appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics. To resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics.

For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn't make up his mind which to use. On being advised to hurry up the student replied as follows: "Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out from the formula H = 0.5g x t squared. But bad luck on the barometer. "Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow. Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter it is simple matter of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper. "But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring force T = 2 pi sq root (l / g). "Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in barometer lengths, then add them up. ‘If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course, you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in millibars into feet to give the height of the building. But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to knock on the janitor's door and say to him If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if you tell me the height of this skyscraper'. The student was Niels Bohr, the only Dane to win the Nobel prize for Physics.

LAUGHTER’S THE BEST MEDICINE

Sneaking In

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

"You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant.

"No, no no !" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"

Power Of Mind : Remember Things by Association

An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to remember things by association.

A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking with his neighbor about how much the class helped him.

"What was the name of the Instructor?" asked the neighbor.

"Oh, ummmm, let's see," the old man pondered. "You know that flower, you know, the one that smells really nice but has those prickly thorns, what's that flower's name?"

"A rose?" asked the neighbor.

"Yes, that's it," replied the old man. He then turned toward his house and shouted, "Hey, Rose, what's the name of the Instructor we took the memory class from?"

Keeping It Warm

This guy went into a restaurant and ordered his meal. When the waitress came out with his soup, he noticed that she had her thumb stuck into it. This upset him, but he let it go.

She then brought out his chili, and again her thumb was in the food. He let it go again.

When she brought out his hot fudge sundae, her thumb was in the fudge and this was too much for him.

"Goddammit," said the man, "get your damn thumb out of my food!"

"Well, I injured it a while ago and the doctor said I should keep it warm."

"Why don't you just shove it up your ass?" the man said angrily.

"That's what I do when I'm in the kitchen."

Two of the greatest qualities in life are:
1. Patience 2. Wisdom

Famous Last Words

"I pray you to bear me witness that I meet my fate like a brave man".

Who: Major John André

Note: According to James Thatcher's book The American Revolution, André raised the handkerchief from his eyes and said these words when given an opportunity to speak, moments before he was hanged as a British spy.

RULES OF THUMB

THE WORD WHEN

You have probably heard children use the phrase when I grow up...
It means "when I get older."
When I grow up, I want to be a soccer player.
When I grow up, I want to be a teacher.
When I grow up, I want to be a movie star.
When I grow up, I want to work at the University.
Notice that the phrase “when I grow up” uses the present tense.
In English, if we use "when" to talk about the future, we often
use the present tense. Here are some more examples:
When I go to the store, I'll buy you a pack of gum.
I want to have seven children when I'm older.
When I'm the president of this country, everyone will get a raise.
I want to visit the Statue of Liberty when I go to New York.

Word of The Day

"Have your cake and eat it, too!"

Function: idom

Meanings:

to have or enjoy the good parts of something without having or dealing with the bad parts.

e.g. - They seem to think they can have their cake and eat it too by having excellent schools for their son without paying high taxes.

Video Clip of the Day

Hamlet's First Soliloquy - From Hamlet - by William Shakespeare (1564-1616) Performed by Sir Laurence Olivier in the 1948 film:

O, that this too too solid flesh would melt
Thaw and resolve itself into a dew!
Or that the Everlasting had not fix'd
His canon 'gainst self-slaughter! O God! God!
How weary, stale, flat and unprofitable,
Seem to me all the uses of this world!
Fie on't! ah fie! 'tis an unweeded garden,
That grows to seed; things rank and gross in nature
Possess it merely. That it should come to this!
But two months dead: nay, not so much, not two:
So excellent a king; that was, to this,
Hyperion to a satyr; so loving to my mother
That he might not beteem the winds of heaven
Visit her face too roughly. Heaven and earth!
Must I remember? why, she would hang on him,
As if increase of appetite had grown
By what it fed on: and yet, within a month —
Let me not think on't — Frailty, thy name is woman! —
A little month, or ere those shoes were old
With which she follow'd my poor father's body,
Like Niobe, all tears: — why she, even she —
O, God! a beast, that wants discourse of reason,
Would have mourn'd longer — married with my uncle,
My father's brother, but no more like my father
Than I to Hercules: within a month:
Ere yet the salt of most unrighteous tears
Had left the flushing in her galled eyes,
She married. O, most wicked speed, to post
With such dexterity to incestuous sheets!
It is not nor it cannot come to good:
But break, my heart; for I must hold my tongue.

Harry & Bess

We will never see this again

Thought you'd enjoy this one! This one you want your Children and Grandchildren to read. They won’t believe this happened, but it DID.

This seems unreal.....

Harry Truman was a different kind of President. He probably made as many, or more important decisions regarding our nation's history as any of the other 42 Presidents preceding him. However, a measure of his greatness may rest on what he did after he left the White House.

The only asset he had when he died was the house he lived in, which was in Independence Missouri . His wife had inherited the house from her mother and father and other than their years in the White House, they lived their entire lives there.

When he retired from office in 1952, his income was a U.S. Army pension reported to have been $13,507.72 a year. Congress, noting that he was paying for his stamps and personally licking them, granted him an 'allowance' and, later, a retroactive pension of $25,000 per year.

After President Eisenhower was inaugurated, Harry and Bess drove home to Missouri by themselves. There was no Secret Service following them.

When offered corporate positions at large salaries, he declined, stating, "You don 't want me. You want the office of the President, and that doesn't belong to me. It belongs to the American people and it's not for sale.."

Even later, on May 6, 1971, when Congress was preparing to award him the Medal of Honor on his 87th birthday, he refused to accept it, writing, "I don 't consider that I have done anything which should be the reason for any award, Congressional or otherwise."

As president he paid for all of his own travel expenses and food.

Modern politicians have found a new level of success in cashing in on the Presidency, resulting in untold wealth. Today, many in Congress also have found a way to become quite wealthy while enjoying the fruits of their offices. Political offices are now for sale. (sic. Illinois )

Good old Harry Truman was correct when he observed, "My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!

I say dig him up and clone him!!

This is not sent for discussion.

If you agree, forward it.. If you don 't, delete it. I don 't want to know one way or the other. By me forwarding it, you know how I feel.

Enjoy life now it has an expiration date!

Excerpt from Robert L. Dimmick' Blog

Famous Last Words

"You be good. See you tomorrow. I love you."
Alex, African Grey Parrot used in comparative psychology research at Brandeis University. Doctor Irene Pepperberg, his handler, found him dead the next morning.

LAUGHTER’S THE BEST MEDICINE

1000 Steps To Heaven

On day a redhead , a brunette, and a blonde were on their way to heaven.

God told them the stairs to heaven were 1,000 steps and on every step he was going to tell them a joke. If they laughed they would not be able to get to heaven.

So the redhead made it to the 45th step and laughed.

The brunette made it to the 200th step and laughed.

But the blonde made it to the 999th step and laughed even before god told his joke.

God asked "Why did you laugh I haven't even told the joke yet"?

- The blonde said "I know I just now got the first one!!!"

Drunk Snake

A man went fishing one day.

He looked over the side of his boat and saw a snake with a frog in its mouth.

Feeling sorry for the frog, he reached down, gently took the frog from the snake, and set the frog free.

But then he felt sorry for the snake. He looked around the boat, but he had no food.

All he had was a bottle of bourbon. So he opened the bottle and gave the snake a few shots.

The snake went off happy, the frog was happy, and the man was happy to have performed such good deeds.

He thought everything was great until about ten minutes passed and he heard something knock against the side of the boat.

With stunned disbelief, the fisherman looked down and saw the snake was back with two frogs!

At The Shrink

Patient: - Doc, I had the worst dream of my life last night. I dreamed I was with twelve of the most beautiful chorus girls in the world. Blondes, brunettes, redheads, all dancing in a row...on the stage…

Psychiatrist: - Hold it! That doesn't sound so terrible.

Patient: - I was the third girl from the left…!

GFN INFORMATION

The red bumps on a turkey's head are called CARUNCLES

Tip of the Day

THE WORD “SICK”

If you feel sick, you feel physically or mentally ill; not healthy or well.
To feel sick - to feel unwell or ill.
I went home early from work because I felt sick.
To get sick - to throw up; to vomit
I got sick on the plane because of the turbulence.
To call in sick - to tell your employer that you're not coming to work because you don't feel well.
Betty called in sick three days last week. She had the flu.
I was as sick as a dog. I was in bed with a fever of 42 degrees.
To be as sick as a dog - to be very, very sick.

RULES OF THUMB

EVER NOTICE ?

Did you ever notice that “i” when followed by the same 2 consonants sounds exactly like the “i” in Portuguese ?

Crippled Miffy Dinner
Permitted Inner Willing
Equipped Miss Written
Flipper Dizzy Bitter
Skimmed Cirrus Skinny

Word of The Day

ON THE SAME PAGE

Function: idiom

Status: chiefly US, informal

Meaning: Agreeing about something (such as how things should be done)

e:g: Try to get employees and clients on the same page. Make sure everyone on the team is on the same page before you give your final answer.

Video Clip of the Day

Hans Rosling, is a Swedish medical doctor, academic, statistician and public speaker. He is a Professor of International Health at Karolinska Institute and co-founder and chairman of the Gapminder Foundation, which developed the Trendalyzer software system.

In the video below Dr. Hans Rosling shows the history of the development of the planet over the past two centuries, making statistics on interactive graphical animation. "The Joy of Stats" is a BBC Program. Click and watch it.

http://youtu.be/jbkSRLYSojo

This present video clip was provided by our friend Ana Arnaud. HC

GFN INFORMATION

"No piece of paper can be folded more than 7 times if it is being folded in half for each of the 7 folds!"

RULES OF THUMB

Fun and Funny

If you have problems with the words "fun" and "funny," look at these two sentences and see if you can feel the difference:

1. George is so funny. Every time I talk to him he makes me laugh.
2. I really enjoy going to the beach. It's so fun!

Both words here are adjectives. We use "fun" to say that something is enjoyable; we like doing it. We use "funny" to talk about things that make us laugh. Here are some more examples:

Funny

-Larry's joke about the Portuguese student was so funny I almost died laughing.
-Chaplin’s movies are always funny. Everyone in the theater ends up laughing.
-Mary is really funny. She has a great sense of humor, and always makes people laugh.

Fun

-My vacation in Rio was so fun! I went to Copacabana beach and to the Sugar Loaf.
-Jane's a really fun girl. It's always an adventure going out with her.
-Thank you for inviting me to your birthday party. It was really fun.
-I don't like going windsurfing. I think going to the movies is much more fun.

Famous last words

"Yes, but not too many". Gerrit Achterberg, Dutch poet who had just parked his car, when his wife asked: "Shall I bake some potatoes?" After answering the question he suffered a fatal heart attack.

LAUGHTER’S THE BEST MEDICINE

Back your Bags

A guy gets home, runs into his house, slams the door and says,

- "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"

The wife says,

- "Wow! That's great! I'm so happy!! Should I pack for the ocean, or should I pack for the mountains?"

He says,

- "I don't care. Just get out."


Great Forest Fire

A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire.

The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting. He jumped in with his equipment and shouted,

- "Let's go!"

The tense man sitting in the pilot's seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically.

- "Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "And make several low-level passes."

- "Why?" asked the nervous pilot.
- "Because I'm going to take pictures!. I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" yelled the photographer

The pilot replied,

- "You mean you're not the flight instructor?"

What's Up, Doc?
A woman went to the Community Hospital. After about 15 minutes with one of the new doctors, she went screaming down the hall. Another doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was and she explained. The second doctor went back to the first and said,

- "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old. She has four grown children and seven grandchildren and you told her she was pregnant?"

The new doctor simply smiled and said,

- "I cured her hiccups didn't I” ?

Quotations

"Beware of the young doctor and the old barber".
Benjamin Franklin. US author, diplomat, inventor, physicist, politician, & printer (1706 - 1790)

Tip of the Day

The Three Rs

Three Rs (pronounced three ars), can refer to:

The three Rs, is a widely-used abbreviation for the basic elements of a primary school curriculum: reading, ’riting (writing), and ’rithmetic (arithmetic).

Franklin Delano Roosevelt proposed a plan to bring about the recovery of the United States from the effects of the Great Depression: Relief, Recovery, and Reform

Word of The Day

A Hard/Tough Nut to Crack

Function: idiom

Meaning:
A person or thing that is difficult to deal with, understand, or influence.

e.g.: The team's defense is a tough nut to crack. The problem is a hard nut to crack. He's a tough nut, but I think I can get him to agree to the contract.