Saturday, February 21, 2009

Laughter's the Best Medicine


After three years of marriage, Kim was still questioning her husband about his lurid past.

- "C'mon, tell me," she asked for the thousandth time, "how many women have you slept with?"

- "Baby, " he protested, "if I told you, you'd throw a fit."

Kim promised she wouldn't get angry, and persuaded her hubby to tell her.

- "Okay," he said, "one, two, three, four, five, six, seven – then
there's you -- nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen....."

GONNA BE A BEAR


(a Mother)

In this life I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you're mamma bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that, too.

If you're a bear, your mate expects you to wake up growling. He expects that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup, 'gonna be a bear!

Quote of The Day


"Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them."
-unknown

Obama: The face of Brazil's carnival


BRADLEY BROOKS

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil (AP) — Barack Obama is the new face of America, and his likeness will be represented in force during this year's bawdy Carnival bacchanalia.

Plastic replicas of the U.S. president-elect's face are the top-selling masks this year, said Olga Gibert Valles, owner of one of Rio's oldest Carnival costume producers.

That means come Feb. 22, when Carnival begins, thousands of half-naked "Obamas" will take to the streets during the countless freewheeling parades throughout the city.

About half of Brazil's 190 million people are black and many were elated by Obama's election. The incoming U.S. president is so beloved, at least eight Brazilian politicians changed their names to "Barack Obama" on the ballot of local elections in October.

"First, he isn't Bush," said 24-year-old Mascaras Condal mask designer Victor de Quadras, explaining the Obama masks' appeal. "Second, there are many blacks in Brazil and it's important that he's the first black president in the U.S."

Valles said her company has already made 7,000 Obama masks.

The company is well known in Rio for its clever designs featuring politicians or other news makers.

The biggest selling mask depicting a real person?

"It's Osama," Valles said, referring to al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden. About 50,000 of his masks have been sold since the Sept. 11 attacks, which Valles attributed to dark humor rather than support for terrorism.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

Image of The Day

Man Travels 500 Miles for a Haircut


By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Dave Gaskell is so finicky about how his hair is cut that he commutes 500 miles to his barber.
About once a month since he started working for US Airways in September, Gaskell boards a plane in Cincinnati, rents a car and gets a haircut from Donald Stoops Jr. in New Bloomfield in central Pennsylvania.

"Why not?'' said Gaskell, 54. “He gives a great haircut. I'm kind of particular about haircuts.''

Gaskell, who retired from a 30-year teaching career last year, left Cincinnati around 6 a.m. Tuesday. Four hours later, his gray locks were being snipped at Stoops Barber Shop.

He's been going to Stoops for decades. Stoops' father, Donald Sr., cut Gaskell's hair when Gaskell was a cadet at Carson Long Military Institute in New Bloomfield. "I have yet to find another place that cuts hair like I like it,'' said Gaskell, who served 17 years in the military and likes his hair cropped just a certain way.

As a US Airways ramp agent, Gaskell's plane travel is cheap -- he pays just $80 a year for unlimited flights. He said he's flown to Orlando, Fla., and Seattle just for lunch.

To Stoops, who has been cutting hair since 1955, Gaskell's trips aren't unusual. Customers return from South Carolina and California for haircuts and good conversation - all for $5, he said.

"You'd be surprised where people come from,'' Stoops said.

hucaldas@gmail.com
hugocaldas.blogspot.com

Quote of The Day


"Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop."
Gertrude Stein

Laughter's the Best Medicine

Gallows Humor - Quite An Easy Solution

Dorothy is very upset as her husband Albert had just passed away. She goes to the mortuary to look at her dearly departed and the instant she sees him she starts wailing and crying.

One of the attendants rushes up to comfort her. Through her tears she explains that she was upset because Albert was wearing a black suit and that it was his dying wish to be buried in a blue suit.

The attendant apologises and explains that they always put the bodies in a black suit as a matter of course, but he’d see what he could do. The next day Dorothy returns to the mortuary to have one last moment with Albert before his funeral the following day.

When the attendant pulls back the curtain, Dorothy manages to smile through her tears as Albert is now wearing a smart blue suit. She asks the attendant

“how did you manage to get hold of that beautiful blue suit?”

“Well, yesterday afternoon after you left, a man about your husband’s size was brought in and he was wearing a blue suit. His wife explained that she was very upset as he had always wanted to be buried in a black suit” the attendant replied.

He continued “After that it was simply a matter of swapping the heads” .

Word of The Day

EYE-OPENER

Function
: noun (count)

Plural: eye-openers

Status: informal

Meaning:

Something that shows or teaches you something in a surprising way

e.g.

Traveling abroad can be a real eye-opener to many people. They say her biography is quite an eye-opener. The speech was an eye-opener for us.

Derived form:


eye–opening
adjective

Comparative and superlative forms: more eye-opening; most eye-opening

e.g.

Traveling abroad was an eye-opening experience. The movie has some eye-opening special effects.

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Image of The Day

A Most Interesting Story


Source: The Washington Post
Pearls before breakfast, by
GeneWeingarten

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousands of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule. A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk. A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston and the seats average $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?

Quote of The Day


"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful.
It's the transition that's troublesome."
-unknown-

Teaching Tips & Ideas



Words of transition, words of connection

São conjunções, advérbios, preposições, locuções, etc., que servem para estabelecer uma relação lógica entre frases e idéias. As listas abaixo se constituem numa ajuda decisiva para quem compõe um texto em inglês, independentemente do nível de capacidade do redator. As principais palavras de conexão, a partir de seus equivalentes em português são:

First of all,...In the first place...To begin with....
Em primeiro lugar...Para começar...

According to...
De acordo com...

Especially…Mainly…
Principalmente…

The main reason...
A principal razão…O principal motivo…

From now on...
A partir de agora…De agora em diante…


So far everything is OK...Up till now...
Por enquanto está tudo bem… Até agora...

I’m planning to stay in Brazil for some time...
for a while…for the time being…
Por enquanto pretendo ficar no Brasil…

In the meantime, meanwhile...
Nesse meio tempo…

In the midst of...
Em meio a…

As a rule...
Via de regra…

As time góes by...
À medida que o tempo passa...

By the way...
À propósito…por falar nisso

Laughter's the Best Medicine


This has got to be one of the cleverest e-mails I’ve received in awhile. Someone out there is deadly at Scrabble.(Wait till you see the last one)!


Anagrams


DORMITORY:When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:When you rearrange the letters:MOON STARER

PRESBYTERIAN:When you rearrange the letters:BEST IN PRAYER

DESPERATION:When you rearrange the letters:A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:! When you rearrange the letters:THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:When you rearrange the letters:HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:When you rearrange the letters:IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET’S RECOUNT

THE EARTHQUAKES:When you rearrange the letters:THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:When you rearrange the letters:TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

Word of The Day


Convalesce

Function: verb

Inflected forms:
convalesces; convalesced; convalescing

Meaning:
: to become healthy and strong again slowly over time after illness, weakness, or injury
e.g.
- She spent two months convalescing (recuperating, recovering]) at home after her surgery.
- He is convalescing from his leg injuries.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Image of The Day



Quote of The Day


"The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office."
- Robert Frost was an American poet.

Teaching Tips & Ideas


TO BE AS "TER"

The Verb To Have (Ter) in Portuguese is widely used, appearing in terms of our everyday life and often assuming an idiomatic role. The Verb To Have, which would be its equivalent in English, has a more restricted use, not appearing too much in idiomatic forms. The Verb To Be, on the other hand, covers in English a large area of significance, appearing in many expressions of our everyday life, similar to the Verb To Be (Ser) in Portuguese. Therefore the verb To Have corresponds to the verb To Be, in the examples below: H.C.

Quantos anos você tem? - How old are you?
Você tem certeza? - Are you sure?
Você tem razão. - You are right.
Não tenho medo de cachorro. - I'm not afraid of dogs.
O que é que tem de errado? - What's wrong?
Não foi culpa minha. - It wasn't my fault.
Tivemos sorte. - We were lucky.
Tenha cuidado. - Be careful.
Tenho pena deles (sinto por eles). - I'm sorry for them.
Não tenho condições de trabalhar. - I'm not able to work. / I can't work.
Ela tem vergonha de falar Inglês. - She's too shy to speak English.
Você tem que ter paciência. - You must be patient.
Ele tem jeito para línguas. - He's good at languages.
Um canteiro de fumo tem 2 metros de largura por 25 de comprimento. - A tobacco seedbed is 2 meters wide and 25 meters long.

Laughter's the Best Medicine

No Worries

Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!"

Thanks to the skill of the pilot and the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island. An hour later Abe turns to his wife and asks,

"Esther, did we pay our $5,000 PBS pledge check yet?"

"No, sweetheart," she responds.

Abe, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Esther, did we pay our American Express card yet?"

"Oh, no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the check," she says.

"One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send checks for the Visa and MasterCard this month?" he asks.

"Oh, forgive me, Abie," begged Esther. "I didn't send that one, either."

Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 40 years. Esther pulls away and asks him, "What was that for?"

Abe answers, "They'll find us!"

Word of The Day



Underbid
Function: verb (with object)

Inflected forms:

underbids; underbid; underbidding


Meaning: to offer to do work for less money than (another person or group)
to bid less than (someone else)
E.G.

We were underbid by another company (another company offered to do a job for less money than we did) and we lost the contract.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

A Christmas Tale


Hugo Caldas

Due to the fact that I virtually lived from 7 to 12 years of age, aboard a small Piper Cub flown by my father, stories about airmen and aircrafts are particularly fascinating to me. Below, is the report of a Christmas Tale the way I was told. Please note that until WW2 we knew perfectly well who were the good guys and who were the bad guys. Nowadays, unfortunately ... H.C.

That morning of December 24, 1943, Charles Brown, 21 years, was the pilot of the Flying Fortress, Boeing B-17 with the 379th Bomber Group based at Kimbolton, England. His B-17 was called "Ye Olde Pub" and was in terrible and very poor condition, after being repeatedly hit by flak and fighters during a difficult task of bombing a factory in Bremen, Germany. The compass, and the radio, were damaged and the plane completely disoriented, was flying dangerously deeper over the German territory instead of heading home to Kimbolton. Of the ten crew members seven were seriously injured, himself bleeding, a splinter stuck in his left shoulder.

After flying over an enemy air base, Charlie Brown was trying to bring his agonizing bomber back to base. He felt his heart freeze when he looked through the right window and saw a Messerschmitt 109 fighter, armed to the teeth, flying dangerously close to what remained of his Flying Fortress.

The pilot of the German fighter, Franz Stigler was ordered to take off and shoot down what was left of the B-17. When approaching the four-engine, the German pilot could not believe his eyes. He had never seen an aircraft in such a bad state. The tail of the aircraft and the rear section were severely damaged, there was almost nothing left. He could see that the tail gunner was wounded. The striker had his remains scattered all over the fuselage. The nose of the aircraft was crushed, and there were holes everywhere. A complete destruction.

Well armed, Franz flew to the side of the Flying Fortress and stared at Charlie Brown's eyes that terrified fought to keep in the air his destroyed and blood-stained plane. It seemed incredible that so shattered the B-17 remained flying. Brown did everything to reach the coasts of England some 250 miles away.

Realizing that the Americans had not the slightest idea of where they were going, the German pilot began swaying his wings indicating that he, Charlie Brown, should turn 180 degrees. This was done and Franz flew to the side, and escorted the bomber to the North Sea, towards the base in England. Then suddenly he saluted Charlie Brown and returned to the continent.

When Franz landed, he filled in the forms of practice stating there he had overthrown the B-17 at sea. He never told the truth to anyone. On arrival at the Base, Charlie Brown and his crew brought the truth in the report, but received orders not to comment on the incident.

Over 40 years have passed and Charlie Brown could not forget the incident and wanted to find the Luftwaffe pilot who had saved his crew. The episode of the German pilot who refused to attack the opponent injured, still chasing him. Brown remained on the firm intention of finding the pilot that had helped him to reach the remote base. Franz, in turn, never talked about the adventure, even in the post-war meetings.

Fate made them to meet themselves on a gathering of Group 379th in the U.S. in 1989, along with five other crew members of the B-17. Brown wrote numerous letters to German military sources, but had little or no success. Finally, a small note in the journal of the Luftwaffe veterans exhibited a response from Franz Stigler, the 28 air victories ace. He was finally discovered. He was that merciful angel in Germany that fateful December 24, Christmas Eve of 1943.

46 years of waiting, but Charles Brown in 1989, after an exchanging of letters, found the mysterious man of the Me 109. Stigler spoke about details common to the two airmen and left not the slightest doubt about his identity. In his first letter to Brown, Stigler writes:

- "After all these years, I still imagine what happened to the B-17."

- "We all survived by little, said Brown. But why didn't you destroy your helpless prey?"

- "I had no heart to destroy those brave men, Stigler said. I flew alongside them for a long time. They desperately tried to return to base, and I would allow them to do so. I could not have thrown them. "

The war ends and Stigler emigrated to Canada and lived near Vancouver, British Columbia.

- "He almost broke my ribs, so strong was the hug, said Brown."

Thenceforward the two visited each other frequently and appeared together on military events in the United States and Canada. In the Air Force Ball in Miami in 1995, the two received several honors.

Our heroes are weary:

Franz Stigler passed away on March 22, 2008, with 92 years of age. Cel Charles Brown died last November 23rd at the age of 86.

The above story had happened because Franz Stigler declined to fire his weapons that day on December 24, 1943. It was a memorable act of gallantry in wartimes.

hucaldas@gmail.com
hugocaldas.blogspot.com

Thursday, January 01, 2009

QUOTE OF THE DAY


"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity."
Albert Einstein

LAUGHTER'S THE BEST MEDICINE

Never Ever Trust A Women With Money

When John found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

“I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said as he walked up to her “but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I’ll inherit 20 million dollars.”

Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later, she became his stepmother.

Teaching Tips & Ideas



Longest Words



1. The longest word in standard English dictionaries is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis at 45 letters long.

2. The longest English word that does not contain the letter 'e' is floccinaucinihilipilification at 29 letters.

3. Cabbaged and fabaceae, each 8 letters long, are the longest words that can be played on a musical instrument.

4. Aegilops, 8 letters long, is the longest word with its letters arranged in alphabetical order.

5. Spoonfed, 9 letters long, is the longest word with its letters arranged in reverse alphabetical order.

6. CIMICIC and CIMICID, each 7 letters long, are the longest words that are exclusively made up of Roman numerals when written in upper case. Among words consisting of only Roman numeral letters, the "highest scoring" are MIMIC (2,102) and IMMIX (2,012).

7. Overnumerousnesses, 18 letters long, is the longest word that consists of only letters that lack ascenders, descenders and dots in lower case.

8. Lighttight and hillypilly, each 10 letters long, are the longest words consisting only of letters with ascenders, descenders and dots in lower case.

9. Tittifill, 9 letters long, is the longest word consisting only of letters with ascenders or dots in lower case.

10. Honorificabilitudinitatibus, 27 letters long, is the longest word consisting strictly of alternating consonants and vowels.

11. Dermatoglyphics, misconjugatedly and uncopyrightable , each 15 letters long, are the longest words in which no letter appears more than once.

12. Unprosperousness, 16 letters long, is the longest word in which each letter occurs at least twice.

13. Esophagographers, 16 letter long, is the longest word in which each of its letters occurs twice.

14. Diescret - discreet is the longest homophonic anagram (2 similarly pronounced words that are spelled differently but sound the same and are composed of the same letters).

15. Redivider is the longest common palindromic word ( a word reading the same backwards and forwards).

16. The longest words that are reverse images of each other are stressed and desserts .

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Mommy, Is God Black or White?


One day Little Johnny walks up to his Mom and says,

- “Mommy, is God Black or White?”

She replies,

- “Well, Honey, God is both Black and White.”

Then he says,

- “Mommy, is God a boy or a girl?”

- “God is both a boy and a girl, Honey,” she replies.

- “Mommy, is God gay or straight?” he inquires again. Getting a little irritated, the mother replies,

- “Well, Honey, God is both gay and straight.”

After thinking for a moment, Johnny looks up and asks,

- “Mommy, is God Michael Jackson?”

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Bill Gates




A Brilliant Mind

Amazing Stories




One day when I was home alone a parcel was left at the door I opened it and there was a box. Inside there were puzzle pieces. I didn't think much of it and left it at that. Later that night when I was in bed I heard noises outside my window. Scared, I decided to solve that strange puzzle to keep my mind off of the spooky noises. As I was putting it together I realized that the puzzle was of my bed room, scared and yet curious I continued to solve the puzzle. Until I noticed that I was in the puzzle solving a puzzle and that there was a tall dark man outside my window holding a knife!! Totally freaked and dazed I looked slowly up at my window and there he was the man from the puzzle looking at me!! I screamed as loud as I could and ran into the lounge and tried to tell mum what had happened. She completely ignored me like I was invisible or something. That was when I realized she COULDN'T see me. Horrified I ran outside only to feel a sharp pain right in my back I turned expecting the man from the puzzle. As soon as our eyes met.........I woke up!

I know everyone hates that ending but I cant think of anything else!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Galileo




A Great Mind

QUOTE OF THE DAY



"We sing in a church, why can we not dance there?"

George Bernard Shaw - Irish Playwright, Critic, Political Activist.



Isaac Newton




An Extraordinary Mind

LAUGHTER'S THE BEST MEDICINE


Does Any One Like Women ?

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."

The barman says, "Wow! You must have had one hell of a day."

"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."

The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today, the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"

On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.

The bartender says, "Geez! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?".

"Yeah, my wife..."

Bush




Never Mind

WORD OF THE DAY


yo-yo

Function: verb
Inflected forms:
yo–yos; yo–yoed; yo–yoing

Meaning:
to move repeatedly and quickly up and down or from a higher level to a lower level

e.g. Her weight has yo-yoed in recent years. She has lost weight and then gained weight again quickly

Thursday, December 04, 2008

IMAGE OF THE DAY

QUOTE OF THE DAY


"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."
Mark Twain -
(Samuel Langhorne Clemens, was an American author and humorist)

ADVICE TO YOUNG READERS


You may know that Jacqueline Kennedy was the first lady married to President John Kennedy, but did you know that she was a book editor too? Before she passed away in 1994, Ms. Kennedy shared her best advices to young readers. Here are some of the points that she made.

“Read for escape, read for adventure, read for romance, but read the great writers. The great writers will always be easier and more enjoyable than any others, for these writers can stir your imagination best and open your world to the new experiences that books hold in store. The best writers will also help you develop your own language skills. Poetry is important, too. Rhythm is what should seize you when you read poetry.”

“If you wanted to paint, for instance, you would go look at paintings. Great painters learned to paint by copying others. If you read, you may want to write. You, too, may want to try to express your feelings by writing about them.”

“Once you can express yourself, you can tell the world what you want from it or how you would like to change it. All the changes in the world, for good or evil, were first brought about by words.”

LAUGHTER'S THE BEST MEDICINE


Blonde Job

An ambitious young blonde woman, in need of money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type. She began, door to door, canvassing a wealthy neighborhood for work. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

- “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said,

- “How about 50 dollars?”

The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

- “You’re finished already?” he asked.

- “Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.” Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.

- “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

Teaching Tips & Ideas


HAD BETTER - "É melhor que, é preferível que.

Affirmative and Negative forms

I had better
- I had better not
you had better - you had better not
he had better - he had better not
she had better - she had better not
it had better - it had better not
we had better - we had better not
you had better - you had better not
they had better - they had better not

"Had better" is most commonly used to make recommendations.
It can also be used to express desperate hope as well as warn people.

Examples:

You had better take your umbrella with you today. (recommendation)
That bus had better get here soon! (desperate hope)
You had better watch the way you talk to me in the future! (warning)
She had better stop daydreaming and be more realistic.
Hadn't you better go and see a specialist?
We'd better get that loan lest the lack of cash becomes a drawback to our plans.
He'd better cut her dead for, she stood him up three times in a row.
You'd better do your task from cover to cover immediately.
I'd better go now or I'll be late for class.

"Had better" is often simply pronounced as "better" in spoken English.


USE & WEAR


To Use:

e.g. He uses compasses to describe a circle. She uses nuts to give her cake a better flavour.

To Wear:

e.g. The so-called Wash 'n Wear garments are made of a special fabric that needs little or no ironing.

See those double examples:

e.g. That lad has two handkerchiefs.
One he uses to wipe his nose, the other he wears in his outer pocket.

WORD OF THE DAY


Q.T.

Idiom: on the Q.T.
Status: informal
Meaning: in a secret or quiet way

e.g.


All the arrangements were made on the q.t. She told me about it on the q.t. This information is private, so keep it on the q.t. (don't tell anyone about it)

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thanksgiving



Thanksgiving Day is a harvest festival. Traditionally, it is a time to give thanks for the harvest and express gratitude in general. It is primarily a North American holiday which has generally become a national secular holiday with religious origins.

The dates and whereabouts of the first Thanksgiving celebration are a topic of modest contention. Though the earliest attested Thanksgiving celebration was on September 8, 1565 in what is now Saint Augustine, Florida, the traditional "first Thanksgiving" is venerated as having occurred at the site of Plymouth Plantation, in 1621.

Today, Thanksgiving is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of November in the United States. Thanksgiving dinner is held on this day, usually as a gathering of family members.

QUOTE OF THE DAY


You know, they said this day would never come. They said our sights were set too high. They said this country was too divided; too disillusioned to ever come together around a common purpose.

President Elect Barack Hussein Obama II

LAUGHTER'S THE BEST MEDICINE


Bush's Postage Stamp

George W Bush wanted a special postage stamp issued, with his picture on it. He so instructed his Postmaster General, stressing that it should be of international quality.

The stamps were duly released, as he began hearing complaints that the stamps were not sticking properly, and become furious.

He called the chief of the Secret Service and ordered him to investigate the matter.

The chief checked the matter out at several post offices, and then reported on the problem to Bush. He said,

- "Sir, the stamp is really of international quality. The problem is, our citizens are spitting on the wrong side!"

WORD OF THE DAY


YOU-KNOW-WHO

Function: noun (noncount)

Status: informal

Meaning:

You-know-who is used in speech to refer to someone who is not named but is known to both the hearer and speaker.

e.g. We’re planning to throw a party for you-know-who.

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN READ ENGLISH?


Try this tongue-twister!

Mr. See and Mr. Soar were old friends. See owned a saw and Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw before Soar saw See, which made Soar sore. Had Soar seen See's saw before See saw Soar's seesaw, then See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. But See saw Soar and Soar's seesaw before Soar saw See's saw, so See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw. It was a shame to let See see Soar so sore just because See's saw sawed Soar’s seesaw.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Teaching Tips & Ideas


SEVERE LINGUISTICS DIFFICULTIES – TH – Sounds – Silent Letters


Many students use to substitute an “S sound”, a “D sound” or a “Z sound” for the TH sound. Though there are all kinds of exercises for the TH sounds, here’s my favorite. “Three –Thousand –Three – Hundred –Thirty –Three -Trees”. If every student can say this sentence correctly, we feel that they have more or less mastered TH sounds and are able to go to other subjects.


Another common error is the pronunciation of silent letters: The L in Walk, Talk, Chalk, the T in Listen, and Castle, the B in Climb and Lamb are frequent but the silent letter which is most usually pronounced is the W in the word ANSWER. Here’s what I believe to be the cure for that sort of error. The drill is a conversation between two people and it should be read first by the teacher then by the class - divided into two groups - then, by two students then by individuals. If repeated a great many times it will sound kind of stupid but on the other hand it is quite presumable that the “W sound” will be gone forever. H.C.


Here’s The Drill:


A – Will you come to the movies, Sir? What is your answer, Sir?
B – Yes, I will come to the movies, Sir! That’s my answer, Sir!
A – There’s “Singin’ in the Rain” on screen and, Sir!
B – Sandwiches and Popcorn and ice cold Coke, Sir ? Yes, I will come
to the movies, Sir!
A – Is this your final answer, Sir?
B - Yes, this is my answer, Sir! My very final answer, Sir!

Logic and the English language


Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language? Let’s face it English is a stupid language.

There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England.
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that:

Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig
If writers write, how come fingers don’t fing?
If the plural of tooth is teeth Shouldn’t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?
If the teacher taught, why didn’t the preacher praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables what the heck does a humanitarian eat?

Why do people recite at a play yet play at a recital?

Park on driveways and drive on parkways.

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down?

And in which you fill in a form by filling it out?
And a bell is only heard once it goes?

English was invented by people, not computers and it reflects the creativity of the human race.
Which of course isn’t a race at all.

That is why

When the stars are out they are visible but when the lights are out they are invisible.

And why it is that when I wind up my watch it starts.

But when I wind up this observation it ends.

QUOTE OF THE DAY


"The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources." Albert Einstein

LAUGHTER'S THE BEST MEDICINE


One Sunny Day In 2009

One sunny day in 2009, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Ave, where he’d been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the US Marine standing guard and said,

- “I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.”

The Marine looked at the man and said,

- “Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here.”

The old man said,

- “Okay” and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine,

- “I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.”

The Marine again told the man,

- “Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here.”

The man thanked him and, again just walked away

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same US Marine, saying,

- “I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.”

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said,

- “Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Bush. I’ve told you already that Mr. Bush is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don’t you understand?”

The old man looked at the Marine and said,

- “Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it.”

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said,

- “See you tomorrow, Sir.”

' MEMBER???

WORD OF THE DAY



LEVELHEADED

Function: Adjective

Comparative and superlative forms: more levelheaded: most levelheaded

Meaning:
Having or showing an ability to think clearly and to make good decisions

e.g. She is levelheaded about her chances for success as an actress.
He provided a levelheaded assessment of the problem.

Derived form:
levelheadedness noun (noncount)