BULLETIN BOARD: 05/01/2011

Monday, May 30, 2011

Clip of the Day

This is one of the songs The Beatles played for their audition for Decca Records in 1962. Though the performance by Paul is extraordinary and the harmonies by George and John are extremely sharp, The Beatles were rejected. Too bad!

Notice in this original ensemble - Paul McCartney, John Lennon, George Harrison and Pete Best, not Ringo Starr.

Someday in Past

On one occasion at school, Churchill at the age of 13, was asked by his Latin teacher to decline "mensa" (table). The boy proceeded to do so,
giving the nominative, accusative, genitive, dative and ablative.

-"The vocative?"prompted his teacher.

- "But I don't intend ever to talk to tables," Churchill replied reasonably, if impertinently.

Famous Quotations

“I always cry at weddings, especially my own”.
Humphrey Bogart

"How to determine the height of a skyscraper ."

Breno Grisi

This concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen: "Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."

One student replied: "You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building." This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed immediately. He appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the University appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics. To resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics.

For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn't make up his mind which to use. On being advised to hurry up the student replied as follows: "Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out from the formula H = 0.5g x t squared. But bad luck on the barometer. "Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow. Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter it is simple matter of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper. "But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring force T = 2 pi sq root (l / g). "Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in barometer lengths, then add them up. ‘If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course, you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in millibars into feet to give the height of the building. But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to knock on the janitor's door and say to him If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if you tell me the height of this skyscraper'. The student was Niels Bohr, the only Dane to win the Nobel prize for Physics.

LAUGHTER’S THE BEST MEDICINE

Sneaking In

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

"You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant.

"No, no no !" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"

Power Of Mind : Remember Things by Association

An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to remember things by association.

A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking with his neighbor about how much the class helped him.

"What was the name of the Instructor?" asked the neighbor.

"Oh, ummmm, let's see," the old man pondered. "You know that flower, you know, the one that smells really nice but has those prickly thorns, what's that flower's name?"

"A rose?" asked the neighbor.

"Yes, that's it," replied the old man. He then turned toward his house and shouted, "Hey, Rose, what's the name of the Instructor we took the memory class from?"

Keeping It Warm

This guy went into a restaurant and ordered his meal. When the waitress came out with his soup, he noticed that she had her thumb stuck into it. This upset him, but he let it go.

She then brought out his chili, and again her thumb was in the food. He let it go again.

When she brought out his hot fudge sundae, her thumb was in the fudge and this was too much for him.

"Goddammit," said the man, "get your damn thumb out of my food!"

"Well, I injured it a while ago and the doctor said I should keep it warm."

"Why don't you just shove it up your ass?" the man said angrily.

"That's what I do when I'm in the kitchen."

Two of the greatest qualities in life are:
1. Patience 2. Wisdom

Famous Last Words

"I pray you to bear me witness that I meet my fate like a brave man".

Who: Major John André

Note: According to James Thatcher's book The American Revolution, André raised the handkerchief from his eyes and said these words when given an opportunity to speak, moments before he was hanged as a British spy.

RULES OF THUMB

THE WORD WHEN

You have probably heard children use the phrase when I grow up...
It means "when I get older."
When I grow up, I want to be a soccer player.
When I grow up, I want to be a teacher.
When I grow up, I want to be a movie star.
When I grow up, I want to work at the University.
Notice that the phrase “when I grow up” uses the present tense.
In English, if we use "when" to talk about the future, we often
use the present tense. Here are some more examples:
When I go to the store, I'll buy you a pack of gum.
I want to have seven children when I'm older.
When I'm the president of this country, everyone will get a raise.
I want to visit the Statue of Liberty when I go to New York.

Word of The Day

"Have your cake and eat it, too!"

Function: idom

Meanings:

to have or enjoy the good parts of something without having or dealing with the bad parts.

e.g. - They seem to think they can have their cake and eat it too by having excellent schools for their son without paying high taxes.

Saturday, May 07, 2011

Video Clip of the Day

Hamlet's First Soliloquy - From Hamlet - by William Shakespeare (1564-1616) Performed by Sir Laurence Olivier in the 1948 film:

O, that this too too solid flesh would melt
Thaw and resolve itself into a dew!
Or that the Everlasting had not fix'd
His canon 'gainst self-slaughter! O God! God!
How weary, stale, flat and unprofitable,
Seem to me all the uses of this world!
Fie on't! ah fie! 'tis an unweeded garden,
That grows to seed; things rank and gross in nature
Possess it merely. That it should come to this!
But two months dead: nay, not so much, not two:
So excellent a king; that was, to this,
Hyperion to a satyr; so loving to my mother
That he might not beteem the winds of heaven
Visit her face too roughly. Heaven and earth!
Must I remember? why, she would hang on him,
As if increase of appetite had grown
By what it fed on: and yet, within a month —
Let me not think on't — Frailty, thy name is woman! —
A little month, or ere those shoes were old
With which she follow'd my poor father's body,
Like Niobe, all tears: — why she, even she —
O, God! a beast, that wants discourse of reason,
Would have mourn'd longer — married with my uncle,
My father's brother, but no more like my father
Than I to Hercules: within a month:
Ere yet the salt of most unrighteous tears
Had left the flushing in her galled eyes,
She married. O, most wicked speed, to post
With such dexterity to incestuous sheets!
It is not nor it cannot come to good:
But break, my heart; for I must hold my tongue.

Harry & Bess

We will never see this again

Thought you'd enjoy this one! This one you want your Children and Grandchildren to read. They won’t believe this happened, but it DID.

This seems unreal.....

Harry Truman was a different kind of President. He probably made as many, or more important decisions regarding our nation's history as any of the other 42 Presidents preceding him. However, a measure of his greatness may rest on what he did after he left the White House.

The only asset he had when he died was the house he lived in, which was in Independence Missouri . His wife had inherited the house from her mother and father and other than their years in the White House, they lived their entire lives there.

When he retired from office in 1952, his income was a U.S. Army pension reported to have been $13,507.72 a year. Congress, noting that he was paying for his stamps and personally licking them, granted him an 'allowance' and, later, a retroactive pension of $25,000 per year.

After President Eisenhower was inaugurated, Harry and Bess drove home to Missouri by themselves. There was no Secret Service following them.

When offered corporate positions at large salaries, he declined, stating, "You don 't want me. You want the office of the President, and that doesn't belong to me. It belongs to the American people and it's not for sale.."

Even later, on May 6, 1971, when Congress was preparing to award him the Medal of Honor on his 87th birthday, he refused to accept it, writing, "I don 't consider that I have done anything which should be the reason for any award, Congressional or otherwise."

As president he paid for all of his own travel expenses and food.

Modern politicians have found a new level of success in cashing in on the Presidency, resulting in untold wealth. Today, many in Congress also have found a way to become quite wealthy while enjoying the fruits of their offices. Political offices are now for sale. (sic. Illinois )

Good old Harry Truman was correct when he observed, "My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!

I say dig him up and clone him!!

This is not sent for discussion.

If you agree, forward it.. If you don 't, delete it. I don 't want to know one way or the other. By me forwarding it, you know how I feel.

Enjoy life now it has an expiration date!

Excerpt from Robert L. Dimmick' Blog

Famous Last Words

"You be good. See you tomorrow. I love you."
Alex, African Grey Parrot used in comparative psychology research at Brandeis University. Doctor Irene Pepperberg, his handler, found him dead the next morning.