WHY A DOG IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN
A dog's parents will never visit you.
A dog limits its time in the bathroom to a quick drink.
A dog will not get mad at you if you forget its birthday.
A dog does not laugh about the previous dogs in your life.
A dog never expects flowers.
The later you are, the happier a dog is to see you.
And last but not the least...
A dog does not shop.
Jake and the Mule
Farmer Jake had a nagging wife who made his life miserable. The only real peace that he got was when he was out in the field plowing. One day when he was out in the field, Jake's wife brought his lunch to him.
Then she stayed while he quietly ate and berated him with a constant stream of nagging and complaining. Suddenly, Jake's old mule kicked up his back legs, striking the wife in the head, and killing her instantly.
At the wake, Jake's minister noticed that when the women offered their sympathy to Jake he would nod his head up and down, but when the men came up and spoke quietly to him, he would shake his head from side to side.
When the wake was over and all the mourners had left, the minister approached Jake and asked, "Why was it that you nodded your head up and down to all the women and shook your head from side to side to all the men?"
"Well," Jake replied, "The women all said how nice she looked, and her dress was so pretty, so I agreed by nodding my head up and down. The men all asked, 'Is that mule for sale?' and I shook my head, no."
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