Video Clip of the Day

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Enbarrassment

Barack Obama's limo breaks down on Israel trip after petrol mix-up

The most powerful man in the world faced the embarrassment of having to switch vehicles after somebody filled it up with petrol instead of diesel

Laughter's the best medicine

IT DOESN’T PAY…

The Pope passed away and went to heaven. He was greeted by St. Peter, who congratulated him and said he could have anything he wished. The Bishop of Rome requested something to eat and a telescope so that he could look around. While eating the sandwich he peered through the telescope down at the folks in hell and saw that they were feasting on lobster, filet mignon and caviar.

- "How come people down there are eating gourmet food?” he asked St. Peter. “I earned a place in heaven, but you gave me only a tuna-fish sandwich! 

- ”Well, replied St Peter, “it doesn’t pay to cook for just the two of us.”

British and American English

 "Britain and America are two nations divided by a common language". George Bernard Shaw

This is a story about the daily life of New York Nate, who lives in the United States; and London Laura, who lives in England.

As you can see, they have very similar lives... but the vocabulary words they use are very different!

New York Nate lives in an apartment, and London Laura lives in a flat.

American English vs. British English - Apartment - Flat

Every morning, when getting dressed, New York Nate puts on a pair of pants - whereas London Laura puts on a pair of trousers. Both New York Nate and London Laura have babies, but New York Nate needs to change the baby's diaper, and London Laura needs to change the baby's nappy.

 American English vs. British English - Pants/Trousers - Diaper/Nappy

When it's time to go to work, New York Nate takes the subway and London Laura takes the underground (which is also called the tube).

American English vs. British English - Subway/Underground

After getting off at the right stop, New York Nate walks along the sidewalk and London Laura walks along the pavement to reach their offices.

American English vs. British English - Sidewalk/Pavement

New York Nate works on the first floor of the building, and London Laura works on the ground floor. This means they don't need to take the elevator (for New York Nate) or the lift (for London Laura).

American English vs. British English - Elevator/Lift

At work, both Nate and Laura need to send some important documents to a client - but New York Nate sends them by mail and London Laura sends them by post. During the day, New York Nate snacks on cookies, french fries, and potato chips. London Laura eats the same things, but she calls them biscuits, chips, and crisps.


American English vs. British English

This isn't a very healthy diet, is it? Both Nate and Laura get stomachaches, so on the way home from work New York Nate stops at the drugstore or pharmacy and London Laura stops at the chemist's shop to pick up some medicine. After work, Nate and Laura go shopping. They drive to the mall, and New York Nate puts his car in the parking lot, whereas London Laura puts hers in the car park.

American English vs. British English - Parking Lot/Car Park

Both of them buy a lot of stuff, so New York Nate puts his purchases in the trunk, and London Laura puts hers in the boot.

American English vs. British English - Trunk/Boot

On the way home, New York Nate stops to fill up the car with gas - and London Laura fills up her car with petrol. At the station, New York Nate sees a truck, and London Laura sees a lorry.

American English vs. British English - Truck/Lorry

They both get home late, and New York Nate needs to take out the garbage or trash; London Laura also needs to take out the rubbish. It's dark outside, so New York Nate takes a flashlight, and London Laura takes a torch.

American English vs. British English - Flashlight/Torch

It's been a long day, and New York Nate thinks he's going to go crazy; London Laura thinks she might go mad.

American English vs. British English - Crazy/Mad

It must be time for a vacation for New York Nate... and a holiday for London Laura!

American English vs. British English - Vacation/Holiday

From "Expresso English"

The Clip of the Day

Todays's clip shows a certain Joe Brown 71, a british gentleman absolutely unknown to me. Mr. Brown is a musician and singer who works in the show business for more than five decades. In recent years he has focused on several recordings and in the participation of at least two tours per year which makes about 100 shows the time when he releases an album annually. Highly regarded in the music world he commands respect and admiration among his equals. His performance of "I'll See You In My Dreams" (song that populated my youth), at the "Concert for George" when he was a young man of 60 years shows that it is still great after all these years. Simplicity combined with sincerity and frankness, without the affectation of sickly light cannons, special effects, clouds of dry ice, fireworks and stage of 25 feet long, give the right amount of the message. The "drummer" with only two brushes and a box sent myself back by the side of a friend playing the piano, on Saturday afternoons at the Conservatory of my hometown in the 1950s. See the clip. HC

RULES OF THUMB

Do you think that jam is only something you eat on your bread?
Look at the examples of how we use the word ”jam”.

I always have my toast with strawberry jam.
jam: a sticky sweet spread made of fruit.

I'm sorry I'm late. I got stuck in a traffic jam.
traffic jam: when there are so many cars that you can't move.

Hey, Chris, I'm in a jam. Can you lend me $10 until tomorrow?
in a jam: in a bad situation

Check, please!

 Every time a new Pope is elected, there are many rituals in accordance with tradition, but, there is one tradition that very few people know about.

Shortly after a new Pope is enthroned, the Chief Rabbi of Rome seeks an audience. He is shown into the Pope's presence, whereupon he presents the Pope with a silver tray bearing a velvet cushion.   On top of the cushion is an ancient, shriveled envelope.   The Pope symbolically stretches out his arm in a gesture of rejection.   The Chief Rabbi then retires, taking the envelope with him and does not return until the next Pope is elected.

A new Pope's reign was shortly followed by a new Chief Rabbi.   He was intrigued by this ritual and that its origins were unknown to him.   He instructed the best scholars of the Vatican to research it, but they came up with nothing.

When the time came and the Chief Rabbi was shown into his presence, they faithfully enacted the ritual rejection but, as the Chief Rabbi turned to leave, the Pope called him back.

"My brother," the Pope whispered, "I must confess that we Catholics are ignorant of the meaning of this ritual enacted for centuries between us and you, the representative of the Jewish people.   I have to ask you, what is it all about?"

The Chief Rabbi shrugged and replied: "We have no more idea than you do.   The origin of the ceremony is lost in the traditions of ancient history."

The Pope said: "Let us retire to my private chambers and enjoy a glass of kosher wine together; then with your agreement, we shall open the envelope and discover the secret at last."   The Chief Rabbi agreed.

Fortified in their resolve by the wine, they gingerly pried open the curling parchment envelope and with trembling fingers, the Chief Rabbi reached inside and extracted a folded sheet of similarly ancient paper.

As the Pope peered over his shoulder, he slowly opened it.   They both gasped with shock.

It was a bill for the Last Supper from "Moishe, the Caterer."

RULES OF THUMB

Let's play with the letter "S" 

1 - The commonest way of forming the plural of nouns is to add "S" to the singular:
e.g. Book - Books - House - Houses - Boy - Boys

2 - The Third Person Singular of the Present Tense ends in "S":
e.g. She looks gorgeous in that red dress
He speaks English and French
She drives her car recklessly

3 - The apostrophe before a final "S" stands for a Possessive Case:
e.g. This is Mary's book
That is Mr Brando's automobile

4 - The apostrophe before a final "S" also stands for IS:
e.g. Peter's a nice guy. Peter is a nice guy
He's waiting for you at the airport. He is waiting for you at the airport

5 - The apostrophe before a final "S" stands for HAS:
e.g. He's (he has) gone to Paris on his Annual Leave
She's (she has) been sleeping for 24 hours
 
6 - The apostrophe before a final "S" stands for LET'S = LET US:
e.g. She is tired, let's take her home.
Forget the football game, let's go to the movies instead.

7 - The apostrophe after a final "S" indicates the possessive form of the plural:
e.g. The Girls' results were better than the Boys'.

Automobiles

They're big, expensive, and breath-taking marvels of engineering, but to view automobiles purely as transportation is to miss their essence. Cars are the first true freedom of the adolescent, and throughout our adult years they continue to represent escape, the ability to speed away from responsibilities and cares. It's no wonder Detroit constantly plays upon this theme in its advertising — they know it sells!
Automobiles are both a means of getting from one place to another and a place in themselves, making them both conveyance and cocoon. We sing along to the radio in them, something we'd likely not dare to do at home. Our first passionate encounters take place in them. And when all other resting places fail us, we sleep in them. Automobiles are as much about private inviolate space as they are about transportation.
 
The importance of automobiles in our lives secures their place in the lore of our times. They are both practical and whimsical, reliable and frightening, mundane and exciting, necessary and exotic, commonplace and mysterious. They are, in other words, the mechanical expression of humanity.

Read more at http://snopes.com/autos/autos.asp#WgQPZRECjGSAcxSG.99

Most Lethal Food

A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago.

"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.

Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realises the germs in our drinking water.

But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to?"

"You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea."

The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake."

Blondes...

Tips & Humor

TIPS OF THE WEEK - THE WORD “SICK” :
 

If you feel sick, you feel physically or mentally ill; not healthy or well.

To feel sick - to feel unwell or ill.
I went home early from work because I felt sick.
To get sick - to throw up; to vomit
I got sick on the plane because of the turbulence.
To call in sick - to tell your employer  that you're not coming to work because you don't feel well.
Betty called in sick three days last week. She had the flu.  

I was as sick as a dog. I was in bed with a fever of 42 degrees. 

To be as sick as a dog - to be very, very sick.

HUMOR :

No Respect

      
 - My boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day  that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went out and got a small sign that read, "I'M THE BOSS"! He then taped it to his office door. When he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said:

     
 -  "Your wife called, she wants her sign back”!
  

Charge of the Day

Happy Holidays

Think it over...!

Diamonds are for farting!

A Lady walks into Tiffany's... She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts...

Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticedd her little woops and prays that a salesperson was not anywhere near...

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her...

Good looking as well... cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Tiffany's

He polite greets the lady with,

- "good day, madam... how may we help  you today"?

Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little "incident", she asks,

- "Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?"
 
He answers,

- " Madam... if you farted  just looking at it - you're going to shit when I tell you the price.

Camping

An illiterate father with his educated son went on a camping trip, they set up their tent and feel asleep.
Some hour later, father wakes his son and asks:
- "Look up to the sky and tell me what do you see?
- Son: I see Millions of stars...
- Father: What does that tell you?
- Son: Astronomically it tells there are millions of galaxies and planets up there...
- Father: Slaps the son hard and says, "Idiot, someone has stolen our tent!"

TIPS OF THE DAY – PREPOSITIONS

ACROSS - Indica movimento ou extensão por cima de um objeto, de um lado para outro. – Através de.

                        e.g.: -   He lives across the street.

                                   She swam across the river.

AFTER - Depois de, após, atrás de, em busca ou no encalço de, à maneira de, abaixo de (graduação),

     e.g.: -   After a storm comes a calm.

                                   The letter arrived the day after.

                                   Peter went after his brothers.

                                   The policeman ran after the crook.

                                   A painting after Rembrandt.

                                   A captain comes after a major.

AGAINST - Contra, em contato com, para, (em previsão de).

                        e.g.: - Let’s all fight against tyranny.

                                 The public opinion was against Bill Clinton.

                                 She was leaning against the wall.

                                 We must save against bad days in the future.

Video Clip of the Day

   Remember to wear a bicycle helmet.