Video Clip of the Day

Rest in peace Mr. Robin Gibbs. Thank you indeed for your music.

They did not know it was impossible, so they did it! Mark Twain

The Clip of the Day

Received from my grandson this amazing video clip on the world of music. I share with you guys now. Have a good time. HC

Look What I Found !

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them.
Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between the pages.

- "Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.

- "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.

With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered,

- "It's Adam's suit!"

Look what $ 1 will buy!

That's it!

Johnnie Boy

A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asks,

- "Johnnie! What is your problem?!"

Johnnie says,

- "I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister's in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade!"

The teacher had had enough. As a result, she took Johnnie to the principal's office and explained Johnnie's request. While Johnnie waited in the outer office, the teacher explained the situation to the principal. The principal told Johnnie's teacher that he would give the boy a test and if Johnnie failed to answer any of the special questions he was to go back to the first grade and  behave. The teacher agreed.

Johnnie was brought into the room. The principal told Johnnie his terms and Johnnie agreed.

Principal: - "What is 3 x 3?"

Johnnie: - "9"

Principal: - "What is 6 x 6?"

Johnnie: - "36"

Principal: - "What is 9 x 9?"

Johnnie: - "81"

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grader should know. Johnnie appeared to have a strong case. The principal looked at the teacher and told her:

- "I think Johnnie can go on to the third grade."

The teacher, knowing Little Johnnie's tendency toward sexual wisecracks, said to the principal

- "Let *me* ask him some questions before we make that decision?" The principal and Johnnie both agreed, Johnnie with a sly look on his face.

The teacher began by asking,

- "What does a cow have 4 of that I have only 2 of?"

Johnnie: - "Legs."

Teacher: - "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

The principal's eyes open wide! Before he could stop Johnnie's expected answer,

Johnnie said, - "Pockets."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher,

- "I think we should put Johnnie in the fifth grade. I missed the last two questions myself!"

10 POINTS THAT TOOK ME ALMOST 50 YEARS TO LEARN WHO'S WHO?

David Barry, Jr. (born July 3, 1947) is a bestselling American author and Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist who wrote a nationally syndicated column for the The Miami Herald from 1983 to 2005.

Barry was born in Armonk, New York. He was educated at Pleasantville High School where he was elected class clown in 1965. He earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in English from Haverford College in 1969.

As the son of a minister and an alumnus of a Quaker-affiliated college, Barry avoided military service during the Vietnam War by registering as a religious conscientious objector.

1. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

2.  People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

3. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

4. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

7. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

8. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

9. Your friends love you anyway.

10. Never be afraid to try something new just remember that a lone amateur built the Ark and a large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Clip of The Day

Have a Good Time!

Tale of a Lost Senior Citizen

When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old man sitting on a park bench sobbing his eyes out. I stopped and asked him what was wrong.
He told me,

- "I have a 22 year old wife at home. She rubs my back every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee."
I continued,

- Well, then why are you crying? He added,

- She makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favourite biscuits, cleans the house and then watches sports TV with me for the rest of the afternoon. I said,

- Well, why are you crying? He said,

- For dinner she makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favourite dessert and then we cuddle until the small hours.
I inquired,

- Well then, why in the world would you be crying? He replied,

- "I can't remember where I live."

The Ant & the Grasshopper

Classic Version:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

Modern Version:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that, in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Then a representative of the NAAGB (National Association of Green Bugs) shows up on Nightline and charges the ant with "green bias", and makes the case that the grasshopper is the victim of 30 million years of greenism. Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when he sings "It's Not Easy Being Green."

Bill and Hillary Clinton make a special guest appearance on the CBS Evening News to tell a concerned Dan Rather that they will do everything they can for the grasshopper who has been denied the prosperity he deserves by those who benefited unfairly during the Reagan summers, or as Bill refers to it, the "Temperatures of the 80's." Richard Gephardt exclaims in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Greenism Act" retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare moms who can only hear cases on Thursday's between 1:30 and 3pm when there are no talk shows scheduled.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he's in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him since he doesn't know how to maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. And on the TV, which the grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant's food, they are showing Bill Clinton standing before a wildly applauding group of Democrats announcing that a new era of "fairness" has dawned in America.

LAUGHTER’S THE BEST MEDICINE

What A Coincidence

Two women were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one looks at the other and says,

- "I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland ."

The other woman responds proudly, ‘

- "Yes, I sure am!" The first one says,

- "So am I! And where about in Ireland are ya from?" The other woman answers,

- "I’m from Dublin, I am." The first one responds,

- "So, am I! And what street did you live on in Dublin ?" The other woman says,

- "A lovely little area. It was in the west end. I lived on Warbury Street in the old central part of town." The first one says,

- "Faith, and it’s a small world. So did I! So did I! And what school did ya go to?" The other woman answers,

- "Well now, I went to Holy Heart of Mary, of course." The first one gets really excited and says,

- "And so did I! Tell me, what year did you graduate?" The other woman answers,

- "Well, now, let’s see. I graduated in 1964." The first woman exclaims,

- "The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same pub tonight! Can you believe it?

- "I graduated from Holy Heart of Mary in 1964 me self!"

About this time, Michael walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer. Brian, the bartender, walks over to Michael shaking his head and mutters,

- "It’s going to be a long night tonight." Michael asks,

- "Why do you say that, Brian?" Brian answers,

- “The Murphy twins are drunk again!"

Teaching Tips

An oxymoron (plural oxymorons or oxymora) (from Greek ?µ?, "sharp dull") is a figure of speech that combines contradictory terms: e.g. "thunderous silence".
Below is a long list. Help yourself. HC

47. Act naturally
46. Found missing
45. Resident alien
44. Advanced BASIC
43. Genuine imitation
42. Airline Food
41. Good grief
40. Same difference
39. Almost exactly
38. Government organization
37. Sanitary landfill
36. Alone together
35. Legally drunk
34. Silent scream
33. American history
32. Living dead
31. Small crowd
30. Business ethics
29. Soft rock
28. Butt Head
27. Military Intelligence
26. Software documentation
25. New York culture
24. New classic
23. Sweet sorrow
22. Childproof
21. "Now, then ..."
20. Synthetic natural gas
19. Passive aggression
18. Taped live
17. Clearly misunderstood
16. Peace force
15. Extinct Life
14. Temporary tax increase
13. Computer jock
12. Plastic glasses
11. Terribly pleased
10. Computer security
09. Political science
08. Tight slacks
07. Definite maybe
06. Pretty ugly
05. Twelve-ounce pound cake
04. Diet ice cream
03. Working vacation
02. Exact estimate

And the Number one top Oxymoron

01. Microsoft Works

Quotation Of The Day

"When I was in university, there was this major historian of the Third Reich, Ian Kershaw, who said, 'The path to Auschwitz was paved with indifference.' (...) it's an interesting idea that not everyone in Germany had to be a raving anti-Semite. They just had to be apathetic." - Sacha Baron Cohen

Mr Cohen is an English stand-up comedian, writer, actor, and voice artist. He is most widely known for writing and playing three unorthodox fictional characters Ali G, Borat, and Brüno.

Wise Sentence of The Day

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternising with the enemy".

Warning Signs On Alcohol Bottles

Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.

Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.

Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).

Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Chuck.

Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you.

Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to disappear.

Consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.

LAUGHTER’S THE BEST MEDICINE

Zodiac : Hidden Meanings

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb 18) - You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a jerk.

PISCES (Feb 19-Mar 20) - You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have a minor influence on your friends, and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general dipshit.

ARIES (Mar 21-Apr 20) - You are the pioneer type and think most people are quick-tempered, impatient, and scornful of advice. You too are a jerk.

TAURUS (Apr 21-May 20) - You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded.

GEMINI (May 21-Jun 20) - You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard.

CANCER (Jun 21-Jul 22) - You are sympathetic and understanding to other peoples problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a shit. Everybody in prison is a Cancer.

LEO (Jul 23-Aug 22) - You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you're an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieves and spend most of their lives kissing mirrors.

VIRGO (Aug 23-Sep 22) - You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nitpicking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

LIBRA (Sep 23-Oct 22) - You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are male, you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease.

SCORPIO (Oct 23-Nov 21) - The worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22-Dec 21) - You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarius' are drunks. You are not worth the time of day.

CAPRICORN (Dec 22-Jan 19) - You are conservative and are afraid of taking risks. You are basically a chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.

Steve Jobs - Very Funny

From this television special Francis Albert Sinatra does his thing. Cycles is a very beautiful song, and it's one of my most favorite. HC

So I'm down so I'm out
And so are many others
So I feel like tryin' to hide
My head 'neath these covers
Life is like the seasons
After winter comes the spring
So I'll keep this smile awhile
And see what tomorrow brings

I've been told and I believe
That life is meant for livin'
And even when my chips are low
There's still some left for givin'
I've been many places
Maybe not as far as you
So I think I'll stay awhile
And see if some dreams come true

There isn't much that I have learned
Through all my foolish years
Except that life keeps runnin' in cycles
First there's laughter, then those tears

But I'll keep my head up high
Although I'm kinda tired
My gal just up and left last week
Friday I got fired
You know it's almost funny
But things can't get worse than now
So I'll keep on tryin' to sing
But please, just don't ask me how

LAUGHTER’S THE BEST MEDICINE

Sunday morning at the Congregation


The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said,

- "I have a praise............ Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Tom must have experienced. "Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain." We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."

Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom. "Now," she announced in a quivering voice,

- "thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."

All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said,

- "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."




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Songs as a teaching tool

Hugo Caldas



Should we use songs in class?

Advantages

A – Learning becomes something fun and enjoyable.
B – Music warms up the atmosphere and creates conditions for the approach of a new subject.
C – Students improve their English vocabulary and get acquainted with the culture and the spirit of the people whose language they are learning.
D – Students develop listening and pronunciation skills.
E – Students feel gratified and proud of being able to use English from the very beginning of learning it.
F – Singing together helps socialization.

When should we sing?

A –When we want to encourage then to learn.
B –When we notice that they are tired.
C –When they ask us to.
D –When the song has something to do with the lesson we’re studying.
E – At the end of a term and at the beginning of a new one.
F – On the eve of a special holiday, students’ birthday, Xmas, etc.

What songs should we sing?

A – The ones which have a lot of repetition and which contain the vocabulary and grammatical structures, we want to emphasize in that particular class.
B – Songs appropriate to the age and educational level of them.
C – Folk songs, which are familiar in both the students’culture and the culture of the new language they are learning.
D – Songs that are not familiar in the students’culture but they are likely to hear because of the international nature of the songs.
E – Hit Parade songs which are also known here.
F – Try different styles but do not forget to ask students what they would like to sing.